***Fifty Shades of Grey .....Hair***Contains rude nuts...if you read it don't complain about it....you have been warned***

The missus bought a
Paperback down Mumbles,
I had a look in to her bag;
T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

Well I just left her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
An one hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread……

In her left hand, she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.

Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things they went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and…
Said……That I must dominate her!!

Now if you knew our Doris ,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
From our last mad s@x, I muttered.

She stood there nude, all naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ….
So I thought what the hell,
Stepped forward,
but stood on her left t*t!

Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!

Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my jet black hair,….
Turned “fifty shades of Grey”.

i thought for one awful minute u were going to get urself banned! fortunately its not the text u sent me! my mum still talks of that yet! it was during the time i didnt understand written english and mum was reading my texts to me. i have tried to explain that you are harmless but…

ellie xxx

You madam are just plain cheeky, but I love you anyway…you watch it, i’ll sneak through your back door AGAIN…lol.


Love it!!!

Hi Hazel

Brilliant!! thanks for making me laugh.

Pam x


Hi Hazel

Brilliant!! thanks for making me laugh.

Pam x

and me !


Brilliant, made me laugh.

Thats great!!! made me laugh

I laughed out loud - thanks! Teresa xx

MEGALOL.Do I have to wait that long?

S xx

you are all very welcome indeed…



Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh it has made me smile. Yes, sorry to say I am one of the people reading “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

C x

Brilliant. Really made me laugh Xxx

Oh Haze, that is absolutey fabulous…

luv Pollx

Hazel - l have read all three books - and l must say - l did enjoy them. Just wish l could write something like that - the money the author has made. A friend of mine said she remembers reading a book ‘far worse then 50 Shades - called Portnoys Complaint’.

Well l googled it and found it is written by Philip Roth - and l managed to get a copy via good old amazon. Haven’t started it yet.

Laters baby!!!

Cheered me up. Thanks Hazel

Wendy x

Campion did you just roll your eyes!!!

Excellent. :slight_smile:

Again, you are all very welcome & it is so good to see a few oldie names & of course hello to the ones that are new to me.





Brilliant !

Still chuckleing.

Worrying thing though girlfriend is reading it and she’s on the second book.

Still got our own teeth though.

Although we are both late 50’s.