I thought i would share this maybe you can comment on how you feel now with femininity or even being a male and still making that effort etc.
I just wrote it as i was feeling a bit down in the dumps.
I used to be a female at one time. Yep, tallish slimish, and well i cared about my appearance a lot. I spent a fortune on clothes and makeup and perfumes and lingerie. Well you never know when you might meet that one special guy in your life.
I met my hubby when I was 41 and still had IT lol. Slap on face, slim figure, looked good. He was 6 years older then me an engineer with salt and pepper hair but thick and blue eyes. He always smelt of oil a smell i got used too.
I stayed feminine as well it was just me I didn’t do too much by then well you know the saying goes once you have caught the fish…
We muddled along together, got married and WE had a great life. I spent a lot of money on nice things i must admit, but Mike my hubby was always going to be an engineer.
In 2000 we had a wonderful holiday together in Brazil and that was the start of the journey of deterioration for me.
Slowly as i got sicker my makeup went mouldy in its boxes, as i couldn’t’t bear the stuff near my eyes, no chance of wearing high heels, i wore men’s slippers as my feet were swollen and thick socks usually bed sox as they were more comfortable and not tight on my feet which seem always to be swollen.
My dresses well they stayed in the wardrobe to be replaced by baggy pants comfortable easy bliss.
My hair well that went as grey as hubbies.
Sadly i even lost my teeth because of some weird auto immune thing going on in my gums.
Hubby and I were like the classic Darby and Jones. We settled comfortably together. He retired at 70 and lived for weeks in long johns and a dressing gown lol. If anyone has ever watched Last of the Summer Wine he was my Compo.
Oh dear i was just so not feminine anymore i felt old and ugly and the pain of my MS showed in my face, but my old compo Mike would look at me and think i was the most beautiful women he had ever seen. We had 26 wonderful years together
I never thought a man could love me looking like i did, grey, no makeup, baggy tops and trousers, slippers with Velcro, the other me still hanging up in the wardrobe, the make up old and moldy as i couldn’t bear to throw it away.
Nope he would look at me and think i was the most wonderful women he had ever seen as he loved me for who i was, not what Avon could make me look like. He loved me because i got him. I never made him change we had a great relationship, he too was ill with COPD, so we kind of muddled along.
Being feminine faded away over the years, and comfortable companionship took its place, I never once felt ugly again when i realised i was being loved totally warts and all, i was being loved despite of my MS in actual fact i am convinced it brought us together even more.
No being feminine is not important when you have the love of your life so treasure them, hug them, adore them as one day it can all be over in seconds and you are just left sitting on your own in an old faded favourite jumper belonging to your husband and still wearing his old slippers and just trying to survive each day with the memories of the man who once looked at you lovingly and adoringly, bare faced, no teeth, grey hair, baggy trousers and floppy slippers and looked at you straight in the face and say GOSH I LOVE you how the hell do you put up with me he would say……………. as i looked at him in his old bathrobe and long johns and would hug him and say well just because your YOU.
Anyway want any high heels, expensive perfume, lovely dresses….i have a wardrobe full…….
Have you lost your femininity with your MS? (or masculine). How do you deal with being a women now or dont you care like me just wear things which are easy to get on and off and hide the incontinence pads, or do you have a regime you can share for us to at least perhaps feel a little like a female again… despite of our MS and its restrictions.