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Feel inadequate

Since being diagnosed I feel really insecure. I have been married for over 25 years. It sounds silly but my husband will watch programmes such as take me out and will comment on the women he fancies and how good they look.

I just think I can never be like them. Whilst I work full time and try to be super woman I realise I can’t be that!

I am just being silly?? Why do I feel so insecure??

hi foxygirl

this is not your problem, it’s your husband’s.

no sensitivity whatsoever, it’s a man thing!

who needs to be superwoman, just coping with ms and working full time makes you a super woman in my opinion!

so, no you’re not silly and don’t feel insecure.

toughen up girl!

be strong.

carole x

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We normally watch it together as we find it quite funny,i probably pass comment on all the girls but then i have an opinion on the blokes too which will include detailed critique of their fashion sense,all delivered whilst slobbing about in my grey jogging pants etc!

I assume my wife doesn’t think i actually fancy the girls as i am probably 20 years older than most of them,If you have been married 25 years i doubt he would have much hope either! If he had a real interest in other women he would be more likely to keep quiet i think?

Ollie

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in my (Oh so HUMBLE opinion) it is one of your husbands jobs to make you feel like a million dollar princess… OK so that sounds OTT but at the very least he should be aware of how his comments make you feel. I agree that you should not worry about how other people look. If it matters to you , you should let him know and he should respond with care.

Good luck

Mick

PS my wife loves the show, mainly to laugh at all the silliness.

My OH is far more likely to watch blokes kicking or batting balls around than femmes fatales on a reality show (I assume that’s what it is, I’ve not seen it). If he did happen to comment on a woman’s attractiveness or otherwise I’d be a bit surprised. Unless of course it was Gillian Anderson. Even I fancy her and I’m heterosexual. But if he did, I don’t think it would make me feel less wanted or less attractive. I think the only person who looks at me disparagingly is myself.

What happens if some gorgeous hunk of manhood comes on TV and you comment on him? How does your husband feel about that? (Obviously my husband is well used to my comments about the loveliness of the beautiful GA, but he’s pretty much unthreatened!)

Sue

Don’t get upset by it Foxygirl! If Brian Johnson knocked my door, I’d be off, with Mr Dc’s blessing. In fact, he would help me pack xx

Same here Sue! he’s more than happy when I comment on Pep Guardiolas lucky jumper! he didn’t mind my love for Mario Ballotelli either, more for the nonsense than looks, all curling now though he’s sitting here making up curling related chants, which are actually very funny!

I think we all know that. Brian Johnson has ‘I belong to TraceyDC’ invisibly inked on him somewhere.

§ x

Hi Foxygirl

​im not surprised you feel insecure anyone would after a ms diagnois.

You work fully time too. I think your amazing I no longer work due to fatigue type exhaustion.

I don’t think your Husband really understands the effects ms can have on a persons feelings whether or not you have any symptoms.

The worries you must have for your future, has he been well informed about your condition and does he attend any doc appointments and ms clinic appointments.? With you? If not tell him he must attend with you he may learn a little more about what your going through.

Do you mind me asking your age? Could you be approaching your menopause? I’m asking because I was diagnosed at 44 the same time as starting peri menopause and that really knocked my confidence and self esteem at one time I wouldn leave the house and was scared of everything but wasn’t exactly sure what of.

Are you taking any medication for your ms? How long have you had it before being diagnosed.

If you feel you are approaching menopause make a doc appointment as you may need a blood test to check thyroid iron etc they could also check your hormone levels and can ask about how your feeling in yourself, dwindling hormones can make you feel a bit low in mood and definitely insecure. Your doc may prescribe you some Hrt if applicable or some antidepressants it’s always worth talkings about it.

Ask your husband to do more at home unless he already does!

Put yourself first can you take some time off work just to relax and get your head round things. Stress is not good for Your ms.

Good luck. By the way I’ve had my ms for 7 years and am on medication for it called Tecfidera which is capsel twice daily.

Take care

Ann x (smokey)

Oh yes Sue & wouldn’t I love to see where xx

What a gentleman you’re Mick !! Foxy, I completely get what you’re saying I’ve put weight on since my meds (pain not DMDs I think) and I found my first grey hair … not much of a drama I know but it really upset me Ultimately neither mine nor his eyes are painted on and I would worry if he didn’t notice an attractive woman !! I have no issue at all with Mr FB looking at other women pity he is stuck with me lol Mr FB makes me feel like a princess and the only woman in the world he would more than look at… it’s in his eyes. That’s where your hubby is going wrong he’s neglecting to make you feel as special as you are, there’s only one of you on this planet and we all have lumps bumps etc but that’s what makes you you. Ollie is right. It’s all about transparency and honesty if her saying it in front of you there’s nothing to hide it’s the ones pretending they dont see the opposite sex any more and hiding it that you need to worry about! Sending you a massive hug xx

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Bless you Flutterby, nobody could have put that nicer lovely . She’s bang on Foxy, we are all special, don’t yearn to be someone else, for nobody!!! xx

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Xx

I was going to mention that but I thought it might be a bit norty!!

And doesn’t Mr FB sound like a prince!! You are a lucky Flutterby. But I’m quite sure you deserve him.

Thanks I know it sounds silly! I go to all my appointments alone, including when I got my diagnosis. Thank you for your support it can be lonely at times when people don’t understand.

You don’t sound silly lovely. Sometimes people (I’m being pc here) don’t think. Mr Dc hasn’t always been quite so attentive, he had a baptism of fire many years ago. Not saying you need to resort to drastic measures, but if I were you I would indicate politely how his behaviour makes you feel. Worrying thing is, the more you try to plod on & be ‘super human’ the more they will let you. Resentment is not good, especially when you have MS. Draw some lines sweetheart, you are a partnership, they need to put in as much as you do. If that’s not happening they need to realise it & soon. xx

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OOH FOXY,its payback time on now,10th anniversary show and role reversal with the Geezers behind the lights!