The other day I ordered myself some new trousers from one of my favourite on line stores. I found myself thinking 'Oh, they might look nice with X". In my mind I pictured myself standing up straight and tall, looking slim and actually pretty good. There was no wheelchair in my vision, no walker, no walking aids at all (and of course I was a lot slimmer). It was me from about 10-12 years ago.
Obviously, like most of us (I think), I’m not usually disabled in my dreams, but this was when I was awake.
When I realised that I was visualising me from the time before MS had so badly disabled me I was shocked for a few minutes.
Has this happened to anyone else when they’re fully awake? It’s never happened to me before, when I’m awake I know who I am, and am conscious of my physical condition. Is it just a little mind trick, another little cognitive nudge?
I’m not worried about it, just interested in whether it happens to others.
Sadly I dream of being the old me for a day, I know that’s never going to happen sadly.
I cleared my wardrobe yesterday and found a pair of heals , l remember I couldn’t bring myself to throw them out, so in a mad moment I put them on to a look of pure horror from my other half, don’t worry l said lm not going to try to walk in them.
he left to put the car the garage the phone rang and yes I went to answer it , went flying across the floor and broke my wrist.
needless to say the shoes are in the bin. Lesson learned in vanity?
Took most of my shoes, including my lovely soft bright red dance shoes, to the charity shop,somebody, somewhere must have had a good day, as long as they were a size 3/4. had to keep 2 pairs though, both have sentimental memories .
bags have to match shoes so most of them have already gone w shoes I’ve got a very nice Manolo Blahnik coffee table book though! just had a look at Manolo Blahniks and one pair is amost identical to my Baldanini’s which are getting on for 20 years old!..so much for fashion.
6 years ago when I was buying my mother of the bride outfit for one of my daughters wedding, I also bought the matching handbag and shoes. I bought the shoes knowing perfectly well I would not be able to wear them. I bought an alternative pair of flats but right up to the day, in my mind I was still going to wear the matching shoes and switch to the flats later on. Never happened. The shoes are still in the wardrobe. It broke my heart.
My youngest daughter and partner have just announced their engagement so when it comes to getting my outfit I won’t be so silly this time.
When I got married 11 years ago, I bought a very nice pair of black leather snakeskiny type peep toe high heels and a matching clutch bag. I wore them all day. I never wore them again, but I loved them and kept them right up till a couple of years ago when I finally sent them to a charity shop. They still had little heart shaped silvery bits of confetti in them. I kept the bag up until earlier this year when I gave it to a good friend who had need of it for her collection.
I think I know why you bought the sexy shoes Mags.
I try my best… sometimes it comes as a shock how little I can do these days without having to have a rest. But I keep on going…what other choice is there? I’m not ready to do myself in just yet - although I do reserve that as the Final Solution if this thing takes off in a big and serious way! But I wouldn’t put those close to me through that unless there was no other option…and I’m basically a coward at heart, so probably wouldn’t.
Oh Sue, us men can get attached to shoes as well. I used to love my rufty tufty chunky macho big soled boots. Now due to swollen feet I have Frankenstein’s boots fastened with Velcro.
At least I know they’ll never wear out.
In my dreams I always question why I’m walking. I used to dream about having my car stolen. More recently I’ve been dreaming about losing my wheelchair.
One more thing. I came into the kitchen this morning, put a clothes wash in the machine, put a tablet in the dishwasher and switched in on-empty. The clothes remained unwashed for a few hours.