I’d like to ask if there is anyone who has gone through difficult divorce and what was you coping strategy to manage you MS symptoms under control.
My stress level is up and down. My sleep has gone very bad. I’m able to fall asleep but when I wake up in the middle of the night to use bathroom, I can settle and my brain starts spinning. I have started with a guided meditation to relief anxiety but even during that I’m having difficulties to concentrate, some days and better then other. I bought Nytol 50g and taken it last night before bedtime. I have to say I slept through the night.
I’m also considering seeing my GP to prescribe me with some anti-anxiety/depression medication. I’m only in process comparing the solicitors’ costs across some practices. I’m already on edge but I must do it. I’m really concern in long term what the stress could do to my MS. The last think I want to get relapse or new symptoms. I do not feel like speaking to my ex but rather use emails so I can pick my time to read it and reply, been separated for over 10 years. Just hearing his voice and reading few of his emails make me feel nauseous and sometimes by body starts to shiver.
Any strategy or advice how best to survive this process would be much appreciated.
I am sorry that you have so much on your plate. I think a chat with the GP is a good idea. Nytol’s great when you’re desperate as I well know, but I think it’s diphenhydramine, and that is one of the anti-cholinergic drugs that Professor Giovannoni is always warning people with MS about because they make us stupid, and that I can do without. Not one for the long term, that’s for sure. I hope that the GP can suggest something less problematical to help you through a very tough time.
Hi alison100
Thank you for the warning. I will try to get appointment with my GP tomorrow if I can. I already have enough of cognitive issues due to MS and I do not want to make it worse.
Thank you and have a great evening
Hi @Gemini and my sympathies to you. It’s over 30 years and pre MS diagnosis since I went through divorce. From what I remember one of the things that helped me at the time was ‘taking control’ of the thing and having a plan I.e not just waiting for my ex wife to make her next move ( plus a fair amount of writing down my feelings of sheer anger or whatever - my scribbles were for me/ my eyes only!).Think about what you want to come out of it and how to get there.
There are various online Mindfulness course and also something called ‘Beingfulness’ which I haven’t tried :
More recently (and happily with a new wife) and perhaps of help to you has been my experience of supporting my wife going through cancer diagnosis, surgery and gruelling treatment over the last 9 months or so. It’s not me going through all that but I’ve found it really stressful, sad , and agonising that I can’t do more to help. She isn’t out of the woods yet and my ways of dealing with it all have included: sharing with others, spending time simply acknowledging my feelings to myself , mindfulness, spending time just sitting outside, exercise as much as I am able, listening to good relaxing music
If you aren’t working then don’t worry about your sleep. Whenever i wake up during the night then I just get up, have a (non caffeine) drink, perhaps read and sometimes even do a few exercises. Not sleeping at night simply means that I will nod off sometime during the day.
I wouldn’t go down the Nytol route but having a word with your GP about antidepressants/anxiety tablets sounds good. Would writing down your feelings when you wake up help ? I always think that it’s better to write down troublesome thoughts and feelings than let them go round and round my mind ( but whatever you do don’t send them to your ex!). Somehow or another the act of writing sort of releases thoughts/ feelings from my mind.
Hi Hank_Dogs, thank you so much for your kind words. Reading about your wife’s treatment and toll it has on both of you it’s heart wrenching and I wish your wife all the very best in her recovery. I can’t contemplate how hard it must be for both of you but you have found a coping mechanism which works for you, and here I am complaining about difficulties around my divorce and how it affects me when there are people going through worse. I definatelly need to be more positive. I will definitely try out your coping methods that’s for sure.
I had a consultation with a GP today and I have been prescribed some “Happy Pills” to keep me stress level down and help me sleep at the same time. I need my energy through out the day as I still work full time as reducing hours or days is not for me financially viable and out of option.
Somebody once told me that “God puts on your shoulders only as much weight as you can carry” so I hope that’s true.
Hi @Gemini and thanks. My wife is waiting for a CT scan ( with contrast?) to see if the treatments have been effective. Unfortunately she had some bad reactions to immunotherapy which was stopped after just one session so we will see.
You mention that you have been separated for 10 years which makes me think that getting a divorce ought to be relatively straightforward? Also, and you might not want to do this but if you and your ex can agree then it might be possible to go through a sort of DIY process at little or no cost other than court fees. I can quite understand that the emotional strain of reaching agreements during a DIY process might make it worth getting a solicitor/ lawyer.
I once went on a residential mindfulness course with someone called Sue Weston and bought her CD ( now a memory stick) on relaxation and mindfulness. I’ve found it quite useful- except I can fall asleep half way through it! I see she also does something on Stress Reduction.