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MS & future

1st time on here, got Diagnosed in 2012 after admission to Hospital unable to walk. Recovered quite well but kept relapsing every few months, Changed Meds 3 times to try to calm it. My wife at the start was by my side & was my rock, I went back to work & never been out for more than a week, (maybe in hindsight I was pushing to much to try & give normality to my wife & kids & didn’t want this to destroy us). Anyway 2013 was a hard year for us as I seem to struggle with my mind,I was always the laid back & calming influence of our family but now I sometimes loose my temper. Jan 14 she asked me to leave the home as she couldn’t continue with our relationship & I was draining her. I have tried from then until now to win her back, she filled divorce & it was finalised last week. I have been up & down but have now hit an all time low being told she has already moved on. I see my kids few times a week as I still collect/drop them off too activities which is good + they stay over twice a week. I changed meds in Aug 14 which has made me less uptight & slightly more like the old me. Guess Im asking is it normal for the partner to feel isolated & alone when you struggle to function daily as normal adjusting to limitations you never had? I love her no less even though she has divorced me, Im wondering if my life now will be a lonely one with only work & nothing else except for the wonderful times I have my children. Im confused.

hi there,

i’m sorry that you’re having such a rough time of it, you’ve come to the right place, so very many of us will recognise what you’re going through. there’s no escaping the fact that a diagnosis (dx) of ms is huge, it takes most of us a long time to wrap our heads round ‘it’ and just what that means to pretty much all of our lives. we are allowed that time, unfortunately the major impact does frequently damage the biggest parts of our personal lives negatively, as is your experience of course. i can understand your confusion, perhaps you might find it helpful to see some kind of counsellor, via your gp or employer (if they’re aware of your dx). i found it helpful to talk through what i was feeling, in the early days. might there be a possibility of you and your wife to look into some couples counselling?

i’m glad that you’ve found your way here though, it’s a great place to come for support and advice or just to vent, when we’re feeling frustrated or angry.

best wishes,

wendy x

I’m sorry to hear that it has come to divorce for you :frowning: My wife and I have had ups and downs…4 years ago she left for 6 months and took the kids. I was left by myself to get on with it – long story short I got sectioned for 28 days. She came back and started packing up her things to leave for good. I’m not sure what I said or did to make her change her mind but we made it through that and we’re stronger than ever. Unfortunately it sounds like your ex-wife has moved on. I know it’s difficult but you are going to have to do the same. You will probably always have feelings for her but it sounds like she doesn’t have them for you anymore… Try going to places like your local MS Society group…or call the helpline if you feel you can’t cope – I have on a number of occasions and it’s always helped me.

Hope This Helps

hi sim

so sorry to hear of your divorce.

heed wendy’s advice and get some counselling, if only to help yourself understand what happened.

none of it is your fault!

then once your mind has accepted it, make plans to move on with your life.

it will all seem too difficult but you’re still young enough to meet someone.

you have a lot to offer - the strength we develop having been diagnosed with ms is amazing.

you have rightly put your children first, good man!

take your time, you will know when you are ready.

wishing you love, light and happiness

carole x

Hello and welcome to the site.

Sorry to hear that life is difficult at the moment for you.

There is good advice in your other replies!

Who knows what your future will be, whether you have MS or not. If it’s any help I do know someone whose marriage broke up after a diagnosis of MS, he’s happily in another relationship now.

Good Luck!

x

It may be of no help to you but my wife has always been there for me and we celebrated our 25 wedding anniversary recently but everyone is different and sometimes if a partner can’t cope, maybe we are better off on our own because in time they will resent you for having MS - get help and talk to people, even on here, we are there for you - to listen or whatever you need, don’t suffer alone or in silence…good luck