Forum

Depression?

I feel a bit selfish coming back and posting here asking for help again as I’ve been largely absent on the forum recently (got to the point where if I wanted to stay at work I was going to have to just work and not do anything else - in that respect I am feeling a little better at least, though I am saying this after taking a 3 hour nap after work!)

Anyway, I’m really struggling at the moment - my mood has pretty much plummeted over the last few weeks and I’m finding everything a bit of a challenge. I find I’m crying after/at work more often than not at the moment and every little thing feels like a major, unsurmountable error.

However, I’m reluctant to go to the GP about it as I don’t want all my other symptoms to then be written off as related to anxiety and/or depression. I wouldn’t mind that, but I’ve been suffering since last summer pretty much, and actually, in the last few weeks health-wise I’ve been feeling quite a bit better.

I’ve got two hospital appointments coming up in the next couple of weeks - one neurology (a six month down the road check up) and one with haemotology (as more recent blood tests have been showing low platelets and low white blood cells). Should I wait until after these appointments to bring things up with my GP or should I get help asap? I don’t want to ‘put anyone off’ from making a diagnosis but at the same time I can’t continue with work much longer with things as they stand.

Any help would be appreciated, even if it’s just to make me feel like I’m not going crazy.

Hi Dagny,

First of all your not selfish! I would go to the GP and ask for some help. Depression is not something you should feel embarrassed about, most GP’s are understanding and will try to help you. I wouldn’t worry that the other doctors will write you off just because you are struggling emotionally to cope with a long bout of ill health, which the cause of, they may have already found.

I wonder if the impending hospital appts are making you feel extra anxious? If that is the case then maybe talking to somebody close to you about your emotions good and bad, might help you feel lighter? Failing that there is always this forum as a good sounding board, when things get too much - but remember it will get better. Hope that helps, Laura x

I completely agree with Laura. Please go and see your GP asap and get some help. Dealing with all sorts of symptoms including having no life outside work because of fatigue is bound to get to anyone and it shouldn’t make any difference to your appointments as your symptoms came along first! Depression is very common in MS and other neurological conditions too - neuros come across it all the time :frowning:

Karen x

Thanks both - I have a GP appointment booked for next week anyway so hopefully I’ll be brave enough to ask (just two years ago I was pretty terrified of going to the doctor’s for anything. Oh how things have changed, with 3 appointments in the next two weeks!) You’re probably right that the stress of the appointments isn’t helping - I’m more nervous that they haven’t found anything and I’m back to the beginning again, but that in itself is stressful.

I’m pleased to hear that it shouldn’t make any difference to my appointments, as I was rather worried the neurologist would just write everything off as stress-related when it’s only the last month or so I’ve felt like I’m losing it, and as I’ve said, my symptoms have actually got quite a bit better recently.

Not sure what to tell work though - I have a meeting tomorrow to discuss my health and I’d like to say I’ve been feeling better (and my last absence was early Feb so that should support that) but if my mood gets worse and I end up having time off for that then they may think I’ve lied to them (especially as I’ve told them before I didn’t think it was stress related - the doctor’s might believe me, but will work?!) I’m probably just thinking of the worst possible outcome though, which hasn’t happened yet at work thus far (with the possible exception of occupational health, who I thought were a complete waste of time and incredibly frustrating).

I went to the Doctor’s and WAS brave enough to talk about it - and I’m so glad I did, so I just wanted to say thanks again to both of you for convincing me to take the plunge.

Work might be a problem though. They pretty much said they expected me to be better and to be back on full duties after my hospital appointments. Given that I’m barely coping at work I’m not sure that’s a good idea but I don’t really want to tell them about this latest development.

Hi Dagny,

Really glad that things went well at the doctors, hope things start to improve for you soon :slight_smile:

On the work side of things as uncomfortable as the conversation might be, maybe talking to a manager or somebody in HR about how hard you are finding things at the moment might take some of the pressure off you? Also maybe they might be able to put things in place to help you cope better eg. Flexi-time? Only you know how best to approach the work situation but if i were you (which i’m not, so feel free to tell me to shut-up!) i would want to keep them on side.

Best of Luck

Laura x