cannot totally enjoy sex

I love having sex with my boyfriend but am unable to completely enjoy it. My boyfriend is not aware of this and I cannot tell him. Can anyone suggest a website where I might buy a “toy” to try, first on my own then with my boyfriend? Before MS I used to be able to have “multiple enjoyments” and would really like to have just one now! Thanks


We have used this site and it’s very discreate and female oriented.

None of my business but can you bring it to your boyfriends attention some way.

I presume he knows of your MS.

Point any problems at the MS ( lack of sensation ) and tell him you would like him to join in when you try them.

It can be fun.

Even choosing somthing between you.

Good luck and a merry Christmas.


Here ya go luv!

I’m a guy so guess I’m gonna sound really pervy when i say this but it would help if I had more of an idea of why you feel you’re not able to enjoy yourself anymore. If you would like some advice on alternative ways I’m happy to chat either via a pm or email.

Otherwise best of luck, twangin your nethers!

(Oh charmin the word verification is 44PiG!)

Dear ANNonymous,here’s another bloke butting in.Toys are best when played with together as use when alone can lead to a sort of desensitization,and the ‘real deal’ doesn’t flick the right button(s).You really do need to talk about this with Himself, as the stress will be putting you off your game, and if he thinks it’s his fault things will get even more arkward. Are things becoming a bit predictable,has he changed his technique,are you planning a menu?

He might have bought you some 'really nice ’ lingerie and kept the receipt.Maybe you need to have a good think about why this is happening,and the reason may be far from the boudoir.MS can affect sex,but nerve pathways can be re-established,but this needs to be done together.


There are a load of websites selling sex toys, but these may not solve the problem. Anti-depressants can cause problems with reaching orgasm. MS can cause localised desensitisation and/or pain, affect our mental image of ourselves and damage to the neural pathways, all of which can cause problems with orgasm. None of these things are likely to change with toys :frowning: If you are on meds, then a change of dose or a change of med may help. Viagra can help too, but most GPs won’t prescribe it for women, wrongly thinking that it doesn’t help: there is evidence that it can help women with MS. So speaking to your GP would be a good place to start: you never know, yours might be up to date with research or at least willing to listen.

Otherwise, I suggest you give different things a go, but don’t put any pressure on yourself: focus on the fact that it’s still fun and you’re enjoying yourself - if it happens, then great, but if it doesn’t, then it’s no big deal.

Karen x

sex? What`s that?

luv Pollx

Oh well…guess someone didn’t like me linking a website…

Yes he does know I have MS. I really want to try on my own first, without him knowing that I cannot reach orgasm. There must be a toy out there that could help me surely?

i have a kind of problem like this, but in my case ive only had sex once on 10 years, as my sex drive has completely disapeared, i dont let myself get attatched to another person as i know they will want to have sex, now the idea of it makes me panic really badly, ive tried alsorts to get it back but nothin works, i know the amount of diff tablets im on affects sex drive, but its no longer there at all n i have no need for sex any more

Try Ann Summers website, although it might take take more than one try to find the one that’s right for you, if you see what I mean! Try talking to your boyfriend about it too, that will probably help as well.

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I have this problem too. although I am married and I have been to see a sex therapist but was told that they dont usually see women so they didnt really know what to do to help. Normal toys are basically not strong enough so the talks I have been to have recommended the industrial strength plug in variety = although I cant say I find we get very far with that other than probably sending my husband off the other end of the bed as it is quite strong. I personally find it a very very difficult part of our relationship and although I have a higher sex drive than him it has meant he doesnt really want to even try because he knows it could take rather a long time. I am on antidepressants and also gabapentin and baclofen ---- I also ISC sometimes too. Dont know what the answer is - sorry.

It had been +2 years and I’d given up!! My Consultant recommend playing around on my own!! Then I read an article by someone in the Times buy the most powerful vibrator (search using that phrase). All I’m going to say is it works, what fun. Worth every penny ****M

Try Bushbaby from Ann Summers!

the magic wand was the one recommended but to be honest I dont find it all that and it is rather noisy — not good when teenagers in room above!!!

I have got the same problem I do think you should talk to him if he loves you he will understand.

I still not find the right toy but we enjoy trying new ones!

So any advice will be welcome


[quote=Anonymous]There must be a ‘toy’. Try an electric toothbrush …I am NOT kidding. Better than any toy and nobody will know what it is for.[/quoteWith or without toothpaste?

You are suffering from a little sensory depletion, by the sounds of it. Or as some of the quacks call it - sexual incontinence? I think the saying is??

Don’t jump into the whole toy joy scene yet.

Get back to basics. Go on a date, seduce each other, flirt,have a massage, set a scene - smelly candles, soft music, pretty underwear, mood lighting etc. What have you got to loose?? nothing, but what could you gain?..

Small steps. Say what it is you want more. I am a little more directional now, as my other half can’t mind read - bless him.

If you need to use other assistance, start with the simple stuff first and then move on from there.

What is happening to you is scary and I know that you will feel as if you are not in control, so take control. And let your partner in, you can discover a whole new experience and joy together.

If not read 50 Shades of Grey. Best I’ve had in a while!!! It’s primarily a love story, i cried a couple of times, so put everything you have read about it to one side for now.

Good Luck. T xx

I havent answered recently as I am afraid the boyfriend has gone! However before he left I ordered a few toys from Ann Summers which have sadly not worked for me :frowning: I will have to start saving for a powerful vibrator as they do seem very expensive. Any more hints? I dont fancy trying an electric toothbrush!

Try toys that stimulate your clitoris rather than penetration. Most importantly relax if you don’t it won’t happen. So relax and experiment!