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Can’t Take Anymore

Over the last five months l have watched my brother die slowly from a major stroke, seeing him struggling to speak and not being in control was agony to see.

yesterday l found out our daughter who is pregnant has been diagnosed with breast cancer,

she hasn’t spoken to me since getting new partner a few months ago. He wasn’t very nice to her little boy who has become quite withdrawn, she’s stopped us having contact with him as her partner didn’t think it was a good idea.

its as if he’s taken over her thinking, we have always been so close up until he came on the scene.

l feel so helpless, she sent a text to tell us but doesn’t want any contact.

l can’t stop crying as l know l can’t support her if she wanted me too which she doesn’t. due this horrific disease, l can’t walk hardly sleep due to pain , my hubby is my sole carer .

I feel I want to get on a train to nowhere and not come back.

my hubby wants me to see GP but what can he do only dish out more medication that l don’t want.

I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense but thank you for taking time to read it.

take care.

i

I - makes loads of sense and life can be tough - hence the need for medication to help our brains on the down times - I’m not ashamed to say I take anti-depressants to help me muddle through - and as for families - heavy going at times

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Even if she pushes you away all you can do with your daughter is let her know that if she wants any support at any time you will help. The problem is there are a lot of difficult/unpleasant things going on in your life at the moment and there’s nothing you can do about them. I’m not sure what the GP could do - the problems remain. Is there any way you can force yourself to NOT think about the problems all of the time - this is easy to say but difficult to do! Could you spend say a couple of hours each afternoon doing something that takes your mind off things - watching a good film, spend time with a friend and make a point of not talking about the current problems, or (dare I suggest it?)get a bottle of wine out.

You must be out of your mind with worry. If your grandson has become withdrawn that means he’s not been treat right. If you think he is not been looked after properly you need some help, you can’t just hope this will resolve on its own it won’t. You said her partner was not very nice to your grandson that’s alarming. If I. thought my grandchild was in any danger I would act fast. What about the father in all this do you have any contact with him, If so he should be told of your concerns as soon as possible. I find your post very worrying as it sounds to me there is a vulnerable child here at risk.I hope he gets the help he needs to make sure hes safe.

Our grandson has an excellent dad, they have shared access, so he has him three to four days a week .

he is well provided for financially and has seen a child councillor.

hes just so unhappy, our daughter has always been a brilliant mum up until meeting her partner.

her priority has changed, I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve to be happy of course she does but it’s all parties and as l said he’s controlling who she speaks too now.

This may help you to get some encouragement. in this story from eMaxHealth.com Retired Pro Ice Hockey Player Bryan Bickell Shares Tips About Overcoming Multiple Sclerosis

Hope this helps a little.

Not sure of the circumstances or where you are but there are some resources if you think there is a “controlling” element.

have a look here http://mumsinneed.com/

I wish you and all your family the very best of luck.

Mick

I’m wondering did she send that text voluntarily or did he even send it,if he’s that controling. I wish I could offer help to you. My own daughter was in a similar situation and with two small children. He gradually took away any self esteem she had (which wasn’t a lot to begin with) and persuaded her that the friends and family near her were “not good for her”. Finally she found the strength to leave with the children and is now happy in another country. The mental damage he caused will take a long time to repair though. If ever. I hope you can still try to make contact with her and let her know you’re always there.

I would just pray a lot and ask from Jesus mercy. Pray the Jesus Prayer, it’s very powerful and helpful.

personally i would just keep the lines open…i would become the 'pain in the arse’by just letting her and YOUR grandson know that whatever your limitations you will be there for them…she will need all the help (however small) that is going and sometimes it just helps to know your ‘sticking your nose in’…RIGHTLY so…you have a much invested in their good health and happiness…she’s your daughter !! don’t let some…for want of a better word …TWAT…decide what/who she communicates with??..not on your watch…after all you still have a VOICE…and sometimes you just gotta use it…at least if people choose not to take help ,you still let them know your still around…(and grand kids grow up )…