Well, my Dad is in hospital, seriously ill, and it looks likely he will die very soon
I feel ill and have done for months.
My kids are arguing amongst themselves (21 and 26 yr old boys).
My sight seems to have deteriorated these past couple of days (maybe stress related??).
I have my neuro appointment next Tuesday to (I hope) find out what is wrong with me and I keep having nightmares about syphillis, AIDS, parkinsons etc etc.
My landlord is thinking about selling the house I have lived in for the past 4 years (and that I know off by heart when my eyes are really bad).
My really good friend has just been told she has heart problems.
How much bl**dy more am I expected to take on these shoulders???
Oh Paula, I’m so sorry you have all this going on. I have nothing to say which will help at all but hope you can and will vent all your worries/frustrations/anger on here.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad! Big hugs. There’s not much I can say or do to make it better I know but I’m here to listen anytime you want. Feel free to PM.
Last year my partners brother died in a car crash at 24 and then 2 weeks later his mother lost her fight to cancer. Its hard losing people we love. And even though it wasn’t my family it was horrific having to give my partner the news about his brothers death (specially how he died) when he was abroad looking after his sick mum. All I can say is I wished that things would get better but hold on to all those special memories you have of your dad and take comfort in the fact he’s had a full life, seen his daughter grow up to be a strong woman with lovely grandchildren. It’s what got us through losing Marc’s mum 2 weeks later.
Kids will be kids - they will sort them selves out.
Your friend having a heart issue is terrible and shocking - of course be there for her as I’m sure she has been there for you.
Most importantly you must make sure you don’t neglect yourself and take some time out. It won’t do anyone if you fall more ill. My flare up which prompted neuro referral happened shortly after the 2 deaths - so I can certainly say, loss, grief can affect you in a major way.
Loads and loads of hugs Paula. Thinking of you and your family & as I said. PM me anytime.
Well I didnt get a phone call during the night so my Dad has made it through last night. His doctor told my Mum and I yesterday that his heart is in a really bad way (which is sods law as he has always had problems with his lungs). She said she did not expect him to be here Monday, but maybe my Dad has a little more to give than she gives him credit for. I have prayed alot over the past week anyway. Funny thing is that yesterday he looked a lot better than he has over the past few weeks too. Its very tough just waiting for something to happen though. Dr seems to think his heart will just stop - no drama or nothing, he will just pass on. God that was so tough to hear, especially for my Mum who has been married 50 years. But we painted on the smiles and went back to sit with him.
Sometimes it seems like life really is a b*tch, but I thank you all for your kindness and would just ask that you all keep him in your prayers.
Val - I am usually a positive person (honestly!) and I would be the one giving the same advice as you. I know I need to prioritise. My Dad, my Mum, my own health, friend, house, kids. I feel bad that in the evenings I just cannot be at the hospital as I am in pain by then, feeling rubbish, and my eyes are bad in the evening. Noone else can see these problems, and when I have taken my meds I look ok apart from my dodgy walk, and the twitches I have.
Again, thank you all so much. So good to have a bl**dy good moan, and that you all know how I feel.
He is actually a little better today so we are hoping this will continue and we will at least get him home. He managed to wash on his own and go to the loo with help… all very positive, so I am hoping that the power of prayer is helping him
Thanks Reemz. Dad is not so good today. It’s like he is fading away really. He can’t stand alone and lost 2 and half stone in the ten days he has been there. That’s not good at all and is contributing to his weakness. We are all with him as much as we can be and we would love for him to come home and be comfortable. My mum and sis are having another meeting with the dr Tomo so we will see what they say. I’m just sad that we are losing him. I manage a couple of hours at the hospital but have to go then as its a real long walk to the ward from parking and a long walk back. Which then wipes me out for the day. My twitches are continuous as are the burning feet. I ache all over but think that’s just stress. Oh well… Thank you for your prayers… Please keep praying for my dad xxx
