there you go again, baiting the mods with bad words like ‘old’
M
Oops. I think I meant ‘senior’. Not old. Definitely not old.
§
I don’t get it. What’s a Donald Trump? Rhyming slang for some kind of steak? A special kind of rump steak? How could that be an inflatable? Like the kind of lilo you lay on in a swimming pool in Spain on holiday?
McGee
You mean like the lilos I got in the little pool at my spanking new gaff in Marbella?
Ooops. P’raps I shouldn’t have menchuned that so soon after the job. KnowwhatImean?
Keep schtum. Be lucky.
Yes, sometimes you should keep your gob shut. Call yourself a Professor?
FMcG
“gob shut” ? could be a misspelling , another one for the mods
Mick
My mum says I can’t be a professor any more. And she’s taken away my chemistry set.
Anthony
Class 3B (Remedial)
my mum would never let me have a chemistry set
Hmmm smarter than she looked. Potassium in Water (reaction only) - YouTube
Mick
Classified Ads
For Sale
Chemicals and Laboratory Equipment
Aluminium (including Aluminum) to Zinc.
Big bangs, small bangs, some bangs as big as your house.
Very smelly stuff available.
Trans elements (delivered under plain wrapper).
Free home beer/wine kit with orders over 100 diphthongs.
Make your own gin!
Clean a room in 1/10 of a second!
No rhinos are harmed in the making of these orders:
will it include a free spirograph and bunsen burner?
What colour?
should do it
M
You’re not very choosy, are you?
Rubber tubing is extra.
we used to fill the smelly rubber tubing with either water or a flammable liquid, the chemistry teacher never laughed and I achieved ungraded at ‘O’ level.
If my mum had let me play with the volatile bangy stuff I might have scraped a C (NOT a euphemism, which when scraped becomes full blown (Matron) smut)
Mick
I have questions with regard to the chemistry items.
-
Both aluminium and aluminum? Isn’t that illegal?
-
What sort of smelly stuff? Nice smelly stuff or sulphur?
-
What is a trans element? (I don’t have a Chemistry O level either. I wasn’t allowed.)
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When you say ‘make your own gin’, is there something included that enables a purchaser to make their own gin? And I mean more than just a potato. Or is it just general advice?
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‘Clean a room in 1/10 of a second’? Again, general instruction or included? And if the latter, what is included that allows super fast cleaning? Super powers? Illegal drugs (surely not)? Magic materials?
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When you claim ‘no rhinos were harmed’, that makes me suspicious. Why would rhinos be harmed in the provision of a ‘harmless’ chemistry set?
You Fingers lot (including Ex-Professor Evil) are dark and devious. I don’t trust any of you. Including Anthony As Mum.
§ue
Dear Fue,
Fank you for your refent enquiry regarding our home chemiftry fetf.
There will be an delay in filling orderf af I haf had a flight accident wiff fome trinitrotoluene I waf fending off to another cuftomer. Fank you for your patienfe.
Yourf finferly,
R Fingerf.
(I’m forry, I’m really, really forry I used a ftaple gun inftead of packing tape).
Forry Mick,
I deleted your reply by accident. Feemf to to be happening a lot refently.
RF
double oooopf!
Dear Mr Fingers
I had absolutely no intention of placing an order. Irrespective of how many fffs you transpose for sss’s.
I merely wished to understand exactly what was on offer.
The response to my enquiry will (of course) assist in my Trades Description report.
I’m hardly surprised you a) have accidents with TNT, and b) lack an effective first aid department to tend your injuries.
Obviously I hope you can overcome your ailments. May I suggest in the future, going to A&E rather than trying to fix wounds yourself. I have it on good authority that they are able to fix dynamite injuries as well as other more common maladies.
I remain awaiting the answers to my rather Important Questions.
§ue
I know my brother had a chemistry set as a child my mum got me a nurses dress but my rotten brother put itching powder down my neck and the dress was never the same, don’t know if he made the itching powder but knowing him he did. Kay