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Been depressed and needing help please

It has been a long time since I have posted online and I hope that someone can please give me a little bit of help or something. The majority of people who know me call me Jen and I used to be a very happy go lucky person but not now. Over the past couple of weeks I have became numb over various parts of my body and it is scaring me senseless, I don’t have a neuro appointment until 5th August and it feels as if it is years away and I just need someone to talk to about this. I don’t have anyone who I can talk to about anything about this crap disease and I don’t suppose I have ever accepted that I even have it myself, if accept is a word to use for it.

I know I am waffling and I am sorry for that, but I suppose I am kind of at the end of my tether and I really don;t know what to do and I just need a bit of help and someone to tell me that I am not going off my head or something as that is what I feel as if I am doing. I am trying to be brave for everyone, although it really is not working, when I say everyone, I mean my son and my parents and my brother and I can’t be brave any more. All I want to do is cry and cry and cry as I feel so helpless now.

Sorry I think I have went on long enough and I wouldn’t blame anyone for not answering this message as it is so down, but if there is anyone out there who could please answer me to help me I would be really grateful.

Thanks

Jen xx

Hi Jen, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a bad time. Firstly it’s important to remember that it is very VERY normal to get depressed with MS. It’s for two reasons… one is the difficulty of living every single day with MS, and secondly it’s because the lesions in our brains actually mess about with our emotions… just like they can cause physical symptoms, they can cause emotional symptoms too. Sometimes just remembering that can help. I think there are a couple of things you can do. One is to go and see your GP. LOTS of us on here are on antidepressants… and they really DO work. There is absolutely no shame in taking them. They just lift your mood so that you can cope better… so please make an appointment with your GP tomorrow. Secondly, counselling can really help a lot too. As you say, you really need to talk to someone, well your GP can refer you to someone where you’ll be able to do just that. Sit and talk to someone who will understand and give you space to talk, and cry. And then show you ways to help yourself through this depression. You could also call the helpline on here. The number is 0808 800 8000. It is open 9am to 9pm Monday to Friday… so you could call them in the morning. They are people who really understand MS and what it is like to live with it and how depressing it can be. On this board we all understand how much it can get you down. Believe me, I doubt if there’s anyone on here who has NOT been depressed at some point with MS. So we all understand and are all here for you to help you get through this. Remember, you are not alone with this. And you have your family. You know Jen, being brave never works for long. It can just make things worse. If you could sit down and talk this through… and cry… with a family member it would make things seem so much better. Your parents or your brother will not fall apart if you talk to them. They will cope. They might even be relieved that you are finally opening up to them as the chances are they know you are depressed. Think about talking to them… it might help a lot. And tomorrow morning, first thing, make an appointment with your GP… an emergency one if you can. Go and tell them how you feel. They are very used to seeing depressed people and will know what to do. Hope this helps hon. Sometimes just one or two practical steps can make the world of difference. I know that’s hard for you to see right now because you are depressed, so you are going to have to trust me. I know because I have been in the same boat. Thinking of you, Pat xx

Jen I agree with everything Pat has said I take two little pills each day that keep me out of that BLACK place and even with them a few weeks ago our eldest she is 36 said to my wife is dad depressed? Well it manifested in me breaking down and crying my eyes out to my wife Heather, and its true a trouble shared and all that I was raised back up by getting it all of my chest. So if I am anything to go by a chat with others and a bit of hugging and crying can help. And as Pat said they probably already know and dont know how to help, TALKING TO THEM will open up a whole new relationship. AND call your GP go and see them and talk and tell the truth its no good silver coating this YOU need their help and if you dont tell the GP the truth they cant give you the best help which by the sounds of it you need. LECTURE OVER heres your joke

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color?.

Hope you can get an appointment Heres a cyber hug well in fact could be loads of them

http://s57.photobucket.com/user/sjnngs/media/Comments/CyberHug.jpg.html

Jen I agree with everything Pat has said I take two little pills each day that keep me out of that BLACK place and even with them a few weeks ago our eldest she is 36 said to my wife is dad depressed? Well it manifested in me breaking down and crying my eyes out to my wife Heather, and its true a trouble shared and all that I was raised back up by getting it all of my chest. So if I am anything to go by a chat with others and a bit of hugging and crying can help. And as Pat said they probably already know and dont know how to help, TALKING TO THEM will open up a whole new relationship. AND call your GP go and see them and talk and tell the truth its no good silver coating this YOU need their help and if you dont tell the GP the truth they cant give you the best help which by the sounds of it you need. LECTURE OVER heres your joke

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color?.

Hope you can get an appointment Heres a cyber hug well in fact could be loads of them

http://s57.photobucket.com/user/sjnngs/media/Comments/CyberHug.jpg.html

1 Like

Hi Jen

I am sorry that you are not doing so well at the moment, but Pat has definitely given you good advice, please act on it.

We have all, at one time or another, been in that place where you are, and believe me bottling things up is the worst feeling in the world, I have been there, a and the relief when you do open up Jen is remarkable.

Do yourself the biggest favour in the morning and make that appointment, talking to someone and taking medication will help.

Please come back and let us know how it goes, virtual (((((hugs))))) winging their way to you.

Pam x

Hi Jen

The advice you have been given by Pat is just what I’d recommend too. It is hard and they’re all right when they say that we all feel depressed and frustrated with this stupid illness. It is very hard talking to friends and family members as you don’t want to make them worry, you don’t want ms to be a big issue either, and often even if you do talk to them they just don’t understand just how you feel. You may be fatigued which is a different tiredness entirely to any type they experience and it is hard to get them to understand.

You do need to chat to them though about how you feel, even if you don’t go into every symptom, just let them know how down you are feeling. They will have noticed but will be really worried about you and not know how to broach the subject. It’s a very difficult situation to be in. Have you got an ms nurse? They are wonderful and could arrange counselling possibly sooner than your gp can, and maybe with someone who has ms and will really understand.

Pat mentioned anti depressants, well I’m one of the many taking them and can honestly say that they do help. You’ll still have your difficult days and they don’t work immediately but they have definitely made a huge difference to my mood, my daughter knows if I haven’t taken mine believe me.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on tomorrow. Don’t let the receptionist fob you off, tell her you really need to see the doctor as you’re not coping, exaggerate a bit if you have to, depression is a “proper” diagnosis, you’re not losing the plot, ms is a difficult illness to live with.

Take care and remember, there’s always someone around here, maybe not every hour but we will help and support you as much as we can.

Cath xx

Jen, I can’t add anything to the above. They all give sane, sensible advice and I agree with everything they say. Apart from Hoppity’s spelling of the word “colour”. Yours, Albrecht.

Thank you so much everyone for all of your kind words, you are all so very kind and wonderful

While trying to read everyone’s comments through tears and (excuse me) I will just say ‘wet hankies’, I am already on anti-depressants which are obviously not doing me any good .whatsoever.

I have a telephone doctor’s appointment on Thursday, so I will again speak to my doctor then and see what she says then, but thank you all so much for your help.

I just have to get to grips with this numbness that is getting worse and this is what I am really not dealing with at all well.

Jen xx

Jen just don’t beat yourself up hun, ms is tough to deal with. I don’t think there’s anyone who’ll honestly say they don’t feel like you do at times. It’s possible your anti depressants aren’t effective, but as Pat explained it can even be the brain changes causing you to feel like you do. Just like tingling or superficial or skin pain, numbness can occur.

Take care hun and keep in touch.

Cath xx

Hi Jen, they might need to change the antidepressant or up the dose. Don’t try and be brave when you talk to the doctor. Say exactly how you feel. It doesn’t matter if you start crying, doctors are very used to that… but it’s very important that you tell the doctor how you feel. Also think about asking to see a therapist eh? Honestly Jen it can really help a lot. I’m so glad you came back on the board. I was worried about you. You come back on here whenever you want and tell us how you’re feeling… or tell us anything. We have long discussions about chocolate!!! Thinking of you and hope it goes well with the doctor on Thursday. Come back and tell us she says. Night hon, Pat xx

Good luck for Thursday Jen, let it all out, tell him everything, will be thinking of you, let us know how you get on please.

Pam x

Hi everyone

I had a long conversation with my GP this morning and she felt that I should wait until I see my neuro on the 5th to discuss my anti-depressants as I am on a lot of other medication. Although she is aware that I am need of much needed help and I have already had counselling before, which I should have said to you. It was extremely short, as I was told that I was only in need of an 8 week counselling session, how do these people know how much counselling I am in need of and that I am only in need of 8 weeks. I am really so angry that these people see the need to say this, I feel that I need counselling for a much longer period than this, as I need to talk and talk, but they just don’t seem to want to listen to me. So what do I do??

I have also spoken to the MS nurse and she has arranged for a urology nurse to come out and see me on Friday for a scan and she is also arranging for a speech therapist and also an appointment with her as well. I must admit, as much as this is fine the nurse that I am seeing I really am not all that enamoured with her as I had saw her before and her way of dealing with patients was well, very strange.She is very friendly but that really was all that I got from her, I didn’t really get anything else from her apart from her being approachable and being like a friend. She didn’t really give me much information, so I am not really holding out much hope in her giving me much information. I had been hoping to be given one of the new nurses, but it doesn’t seem to be the case, as I had already been assigned t o this one I have just been put back to her. So I will see how it goes.

That is where things are at for the moment.

Jen xx

Jen, i am so sorry the appointment was so frustrating…I have the same problem with my own GP…utterly useless. It is such a shame you are not overly keen on your nurse…I find mine a godsend…I have now had the same one for about twelve years. If I were in your position I wouldn’t wait for the neuro but would text or telephone the nurse…they can arrange councilling…and tell her exactly how urgent it is… and that you are in no fit state to wait. The only other thing I can suggest is that if you are near to an MS therapy centre you can, I believe, refer yourself, they mostly have councilors who specialise in MS and they, as far as I know will see you as often as you want/need. Hope this helps, good luck, Nina x

Oh Jen, just when you needed a caring gp, yours doesn’t appear very helpful at all.

If I were you I think I would ring my ms nurse, tell them everything, they may have the clout to get you some urgently needed help. It appears sometime that you have to shout the loudest to be taken seriously, life should not be like that.

Take care

Pam x

Jen, Jen, Jen,

My heart goes out to you - you sound in a cery scary, lonely place right now. I go along with all the wise words from all the others. ALSO, I would say (having been there), it sounds as though the anti depressants you are on deinitely need changing. A couple of years ago, I was on a particular medication and it wasn’t until a couple of months had passed that I saw a different GP. He immediately put me on something else and they worked a treat within a fortnight. Regarding the numbness, it could be that the way you are feeling isn’t helping? How are you now (I realise it’s a good few days since you posted)? BIG hug, Debs xx