I’m sorry to hear of your double family tragedy in such a short time.
Although stress or any kind of emotional upset does tend to exacerbate symptoms, I’m firmly of the belief it’s not the underlying cause, and that some degree of pain and discomfort is common, but not universal, with MS.
I’ve been achey for years - since well before diagnosis.
I have found muscle relaxants (I take Baclofen and Diazepam) at least partially address it, as part of the pain is from over-tight muscles (spasticity).
However, they are not a complete solution, and I still use convention painkillers (variations/combinations of codeine, ibuprofen and paracetamol as required). I do not have just one painkiller I always use, as this gives me the potential to vary combinations depending just how bad the pain is (if really bad, there’s nothing to stop me using all three, as they’re not mutually incompatible), but also to chop and change, so I’m not ALWAYS on one thing, and can therefore minimise the risk of long-term side-effects, or developing tolerance to just one thing.
I have tried the neuropathic painkiller gabapentin as well, but this did nothing for me. It all depends on the nature of the pain. If it’s straightforward musculo-skeletal (just like old-fashioned “bad back”, or an injury), traditional painkillers work better than specialist drugs for MS nerve pain. Sometimes the only way to find out what type of pain it is is to try both types of painkiller (conventional like codeine versus neuropathic like gabapentin), and see which has any effect.
I’m convinced my pain is muscular, because only the conventional drugs really do anything. I had a couple of trial runs with gabapentin, just in case there was a neuropathic (nerve) element to it, but it didn’t improve things.
Sadly, I have NOT managed to eliminate pain altogether, and always live with it at some level, but have managed to find a compromise that makes it tolerable most of the time. Things could be better, but they’re not awful.
You probably just need some experimentation (under medical supervision) to find a workable solution for you. I can’t promise you’ll be able to hit on anything that makes it feel as if you didn’t have MS, but with a bit of trial and error, you should be able to get the pain down to more manageable levels.
I’ve got a lot of discretion about how much I take of what, as my GP understands things aren’t the same every day, so I can fiddle about for best results.