Id first like to say Thank you for all your replies!
I signed up for this Forum on a whim, I never expected to find so many caring and supportive people. Not only about me and my wife’s situation, but also my own health and wellbeing.
It really warms my heart
Thank you so much!
This might be a bit of a long reply for everyone, I apologise ( * > _ < * )
Yes, that’s right, she doesn’t display any symptoms at this time, her initial symptom was optic neuritis in her left eye 5 years ago. When she had an MRI, nothing was seen, gradually It healed on its own without steroids. They called her back for another routine MRI a month later and they saw a few lesions. She Now takes beta interferon, and seems to tolerate it very well. She had a moment last year when she felt a tingling in her tongue and phoned up her Neurologist in the morning, she had an MRI later that day and didnt show any new lesions or active old ones. She went back 4 days later for another MRI and still showed no Lesions, and strangely showed some of the older lesions for 3 years before had disappeared completely.
to be honest, I had to study allot when she told me she had MS, I realy didnt know about it. I went on a holiday (souls searching) to Japan as it was my dream since I was a child, it was amazing, like seeing into the future or a si-fi movie. the whole country was surgically clean, electronic and meretriciously organised, each bus/train is on time down to the very moment. crime rate and unemployment is the lowest in the world. And then in a contrast, there are lots of old temples that are over a 1000 years old. anyhow, perhaps im trailing off a little.
We met there and when I returned to england she told me she had MS, AT first I didnt know what to think. images of “wheelchair/Bead bound” flashed in my mind. I was very ill educated (like most) and realy didnt know the first thing about MS, or that Many people live their lives and might not need access to a wheel chair. But it didnt matter to me ether way, Id already fallen head over heals with her, Id never met somone who was so selfless and sensitive, and at the same time, so Strong and positive.
Dont get me wrong, she does have her down days, mostly about how her stomach is now very hard or rough because of the trauma injections. But She doesnt worry about the future, she enjoys each moment and always sees the positive in everything. She is my inspiration.
I asked my parents tonight about it, and said it would be no problem to sign a document if they needed to.
I think ill check with a immigration lawyer for more details. it will be worth the money.
Polar Bear :-
Yes, I try not to get so down about it, But with my condition so bad, Im finding it really difficult at the moment.
It was supposed to be a simple procedure for mild acid reflux, now my reflux is 10 times worse. the surgeon said he might not have tied the wrap tight enough, but then did a U - Turn and blamed it on my stomach not emptying (which is caused by him severing the nerve sin the stomach. Then decided to send me back to the doctor anyhow, despite butchering my insides. my bags were packed for Japan, i just needed to heal. Now im on a cocktail of medications that have horrible side effects and are known to cause heart problems (I already have a heart rhythm problem)
The other treatments for this problem is ill have to be fed through a tube directly into my stomach, ill probably never eat or drink again by mouth. There are surgeries I can have, like connecting my small intestine to another part of the stomach, but that still isnt guaranteed to work.
I was in some very dark places and even considered taking my on life on a few occasions. I was a construction worker, active and happy. I feel ive had that taken away from me by somone who was supposed to be one of the best in Manchester. (im from manchester)
I even have dreams about being in japan and then wake up sobbing. That little mistake has cost me my future.
I actualy stopped taking my medication when I heard about the risk of heart problems, But since Ive been in agony, more than before I started taking the meds. I esentialy swapped little acid reflux for dangerous medications, worse reflux, and a stomach that doesnt digest food anymore. im so angry and upset inside. Me and my wife had dreams of opening our own english school, we planed to convert her grandfathers old house, its a beautiful place with a small garden and flowers leading to the front door, we had been saving for 3 years to do that. it breaks my heart over and over
Ive never thought of seeing a solicitor to be honest. he did mention the risks (Bloating, unable to burp or throw up) But nothing about this kind of life altering damage. He never admitted that he had caused it. But he did say I had gastroParisis because of the surgery, It only takes a google search to find out that it happens when the wrong nerves are cut in the stomach.
Apparently people have tried to sue for this same complication and the problem is trying to prove that it was the operation caused it. and the Surgeon and the hospital will do anything not to pay up or admit fualt. i alread have a complaint against the with PALS, as they lost my referal 3 times for the surgery, and then gave me another surgeon I didnt want, when I turned iit down, they put me to the bottom of the list to wait all over again. (I wish i had that surgeon now, i might not have ended up like this)
I was recomended some meal replacment drinks, but they make my acid reflux worse and can only take a few sips per day. (I should have no reflux now because of the wrap, but its much worse)
I probibly have around 500 - 600 calories per day. I ate like an animal before the operation.
I will have to make some very tough descisions about what I want to do.
if to take medications that could cause serious problems in future, but help a little in present life.
To have a J tube which means a big change in the way I live my life, no more eating, no more drinking water.
Or Intestinal surgery that could cause even more problems or complications, but a small risk of success.
Is a hard one, as Im still living in the past and wishing i never had the surgery.
The tube seems the least daunting, but comes with allot of anoying things, i cant eat out anywhere, and id spend all day every day hooked up to a food bag.
Or the medication.
Im sorry, I feel like all im doing is speaking about myself and not about my wife. I would never even compare what im going though with what MS sufferers can go though each day.
Yes she is finding it very frustrating, I try not to make her stressed, But i think she is still feeling very usless and feels she cant do anything. She finds it hard understanding the NHS system, as in Japan everything is so instant and organised. She finds it difficult to understand that we have to constantly wait for tests, or results or to see a DR. In Japan you can have blood tests, all scans and see a doctor in a day and be treated straight away. Their system is similar to the NHS, 75 % of costs are paid by the government and the remaining is paid by yourself, that goes for medication, clinics, tests and all other costs.
Its a good system if it means you can see a specialist and be treated so soon. They take their healthcare very seriously.
Since the surgery didnt work, Asami made the decision to come here for 6 months (before we knew how bad this realy was). She was prepared to quit her Job to see me, But her company has told her they would leave her post open until she returns. She plans to come here in February and leave 6 months later. But since things seem to have gone form bad to worse, I am wondering if ist best she comes here, rather than me to go there. Asami still wonderers why I cant go there, But goign there when im ill isnt the right descision I think. who knows what kind to tests or treatment id need to have, and the cost implications. It would make more sense fo rher to relocate here for now and stay with me and my parents (even though its not ideal)
The hospital havent “admitted” but he says the reson im so bad, isnt because of his “surgery” but because of this stomach paralysis. (which his surgery has caused) so he just passed me back to his colleague to be treated by medication. But im already on th emedication, and it isnt working so well, and on top of that, it causes problems.
Ive found a surgeon from Newcastle, he came recommended, but my GP isnt willing to send me for a second opinion, because she says we are in a “recession” if i didnt know already.
Thank you for your kind words, Like i mentioned above, Ive been really down and finding it so hard. I dont cope well and am in introvert, I tend to bottle things inside.
It makes me happy that there are people out there who care,
Thanks for all the info and advice, I realy apreciate it.
Ill see into a solicitor for the Visa, I think it would defiantly be worth it.
Yes, I understand about the CAB, i remember seeing them once at the local office in Manchester, they didnt have much time to offer, but they did their best.
Oh, a minimum income threshold for spousal visas. yes, I heard that too during my research. I hoped that my parents sponsorship would be good enough to support us, as I was working full time self employed before, but now am permanently bed ridden. My wife currently works as an executive for an export company. She will probably be looking at something similar here. Ill also have to probably think about going another route, as I probably cant go back to my previous job in construction.
The risks wernet realy explaned as such, the only risks I was told was that I wouldnt be able to throw up, or burp, and i might get some trapped wind, also swallowing food would be difficult because of the swelling.didnt expect to burp more, more food coming up than before. I was sure they made it wider, not tighter.
That’s good to hear that your dad got the compensation he deserved. Justice does still exist in this world.
Oh I wasnt aware you couldn’t mention certain things or people here, Ill keep that in mind on future posts.
Thanks again everyone! Im sorry for all the reading. I apologise again for writing so much.