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Advice - My wife in Japan and has MS

I was wondering if anyone could offer me some advice, im not sure whether you could help me but thought i would ask just in case.

I was originally going to move to Japan to be with her, had my visa in place, flight in order, and was waiting to have some surgery myself before I could make the move at Christmas time.

Regrettably, I had the surgery and there has been some horrible complications. Due to my bad health, I am no longer able to go to Japan to be with her.

Our only other option is for her to be here.

because we made a promise to be together at the end of this year, and things havent gone as planned, she has made the decision to come here for 6 months to see me.

However, I am thinking to speak to her about possibly staying in england for longer, as it is going to be a long time until i am well enough to go to Japan, and likely have a few more operations ahead of me in the next coming years.

I regret having this surgery each day, as I could have gone on without it, but wanted to be at my best in Japan. Now I feel my dreams have been shattered. But still thought that me and my wife being together is what is important, irrelevant of location.

We will probably be looking to apply for a spousal visa of some kind.

But there are a few concerns I have, and was wondering if you could shed any light or offer me any advice at this difficult time.

I was wondering if you’ve heard of anyone being refused Visa entry because of their MS, understandably, at some point in her life she will probably need access to NHS treatment during relapses or in her older years. and the government might see her as a drain on the NHS because of her illness? She was diagnosed with MS, before I met her 5 years ago and has had no major relapses so far.

I wanted to just ask how beta interferon is offered in the UK, is it given though the NHS or as a fixed paid prescription (like Insulin for diabetics) ? not that it matters either way, but was just wondering is all.

Thank you for your time and for any advice you could offer.

I appreciate any help.

Kind regards,

Take care,

Charlie

From what I’ve read she might need a medical examination and then it would be decided from that if she would get the visa or be denied it. better to talk to an immigration lawyer since it can get really complicated. CAB might be able to help but a lawyer that deals with immigration would probably have a better understanding of what to do. you do need to be earning a certain amount of money before even thinking of trying for a visa tho so if you are unemployed due to the surgery, it might be a no go either way :confused:

Thank you for your replys guys, i really appreciate it.

Polar Bear:-

Thank you kindly for all your effort researching for me.

Yeh, things have really taken its tole on me physicaly and mentaly.

I had a Nissen-Fundoplication (wrap the top portion of your stomach round your esophagus to strengthen the valve) it is treatment for Acid reflux. But something has gone horribly wrong when the surgeon severed all the nerves in my stomach which has rendered my stomach paralysed, my stomach can no longer digest food. I have to sleep sat in a chair, if i lay down vomit pours out of my nose and mouth. I can only have a sip of water before im full all day and my weight has gone from 11 stones to 6 stones since july. im a real mess.

Thanks, I might contact my citizens advice bureau, for information.

I commend my wife for her toughness, she always goes on with a smile.

Thank you for the support.

Ill keep you updated!

faula:-

Thanks for the reply!

Oh a medical exam, I see,

She has no other medical issues apart from her MS, and ATM shows no symptoms of MS.

ah a immigration lawyer, i see into that.

Yeh, thats true, Im currently unable to work because of my operation, im lucky I live with my parents.

i heard somewhere that my parents could be a guarantor and sign a document that they are willing to support us.

I think what the government are also so focused on is her not gaining any benefits when she gets here. She would never want benifits as part of principal, as the japanese find it dishonourable not to work yourself to death.

thanks for the info, ill be sure to look into it.

Its just been very hard recentley, the guilt of what ive done, i could be in Japan happy now, as we planned this 3 years ago, with this december as our date, and i feel ive destroyed that. Ive just started to think about my future. Im trying not go give up hope. and find an alternative direction for us, as all my plans went on preparing for Japan, I didnt plan anything here.

Thanks guys!

I always apreciate any help or advice

Take care

x

Hello Charlie

Please tell me you are seeing a solicitor in relation to what’s happened to yourself? If not, can I recommend (content removed by admin- please use PMs for personal recommendations- thanks!)

Regarding the weight loss, are you under hospital care for nutritional therapy?

Good Luck xx

l can’t begin to imagine how you must be feeling- your wife must be desperate to get here to help look after you. Fingers crossed that the doctors can do something to improve your problems.

Has the hospital - where you had the surgery - admitted they have made a mistake. And what will they do about it.

This is not a time for you to be on your own - so do keep in touch with folk on this forum. Hopefully, we can be a help to you.

To be honest, I would consider seeing a solicitor also about your wife’s immigration status.

I’m not knocking the CAB, but most staff are NOT legally qualified, and not equipped (or insured!) to deal with complex legal issues.

Believe me - I used to work there. I was in the small minority who did have legal training, but even then, it was beyond my remit to just go ahead and use it on my own initiative - the organisation (and the client!) would not be covered if I screwed up, because it’s not a solicitor’s.

We used to have about ten minutes (max) to look things up in a big database of common problems, and if it was too unique or complex to be in there, we would give the client a list of local solicitors, and send them on their way. We could not either afford (in terms of time needed and impact on other clients) or accept the responsibility of, complex legal cases.

None of this is intended to criticise them in any way, but they don’t have answers to everything, and considering it’s all free, don’t have time to embark on lengthy research to find out.

See if you can find an immigration solicitor who will do a free initial consultation. If you are, yourself, on low income, due to your own illness, that may be an issue, irrespective of your wife’s health, as I believe there is now a minimum income threshold for spousal visas. In other words, even if she were well, you’d have to demonstrate you were not bringing her here to a life on the breadline, where she’d be dependant on benefits.

Tina

Even if the hospital admit they have made a mistake, it is for a solicitor to do deal with it.

I would want another hospital/surgeon looking after my future health needs.

If there is grounds for suing it could take several years to reach a conclusion. You, the plaintiff could apply for an interim payment if the hospital do admit liability.

x

Agreed! Hospital complaint route yields (at best) an apology, and an outline of what measures they are taking to stop it happening again. Even if they admitted fault, it’s not linked to any compensation unless you also pursue it legally.

Of course, just because something has gone wrong does not always mean there has been “fault”. It may be a small but known risk of the type of surgery performed - BUT any such risks should have been explained beforehand.

Tina

x

having no symptoms might go in her favour, also if she is not on any medication for MS but if she doesn’t list she has MS on any medical forms, it would probably be a bad thing. an immigration lawyer makes big bucks because they no what people in your situation need to do and def look into seeing if you can get compensation from the hospital mess up. that is horrible what happened

your parents might be able to do that, I know my husbands parents did but that was 8 years ago and I hadn’t been diagnosed yet. once again, an immigration lawyer would know :slight_smile:

and dont feel guilty!! you thought you were doing a good thing getting the surgery done before going to Japan. Not your fault what happened

Sorry, I shouldn’t have named a solicitor

If you need one recommending Charlie, feel free to private message me

xx

Did it get moderated, or did you ask for it to be moderated? I don’t see a mod comment anywhere mentioning it was edited (it usually says: “removed by moderator”, or some such thing.)

I am surprised mentioning a service you have found good breaches the rules - as long as you’re not personally affiliated with them.

I have positive experience of the solicitors we’re not allowed to mention - they did my dad’s terminal illness claim, and we received a much larger settlement than we’d been expecting, for someone who was retired anyway (the person’s lost future earning potential is usually taken into account when establishing the figure, so someone who was a pensioner and had no realistic interest in working again would normally get a lesser payout).

Tina

x

I never said a word Tina

Hi everyone

Id first like to say Thank you for all your replies!

I signed up for this Forum on a whim, I never expected to find so many caring and supportive people. Not only about me and my wife’s situation, but also my own health and wellbeing.

It really warms my heart

Thank you so much!

This might be a bit of a long reply for everyone, I apologise ( * > _ < * )

faula :-

Yes, that’s right, she doesn’t display any symptoms at this time, her initial symptom was optic neuritis in her left eye 5 years ago. When she had an MRI, nothing was seen, gradually It healed on its own without steroids. They called her back for another routine MRI a month later and they saw a few lesions. She Now takes beta interferon, and seems to tolerate it very well. She had a moment last year when she felt a tingling in her tongue and phoned up her Neurologist in the morning, she had an MRI later that day and didnt show any new lesions or active old ones. She went back 4 days later for another MRI and still showed no Lesions, and strangely showed some of the older lesions for 3 years before had disappeared completely.

to be honest, I had to study allot when she told me she had MS, I realy didnt know about it. I went on a holiday (souls searching) to Japan as it was my dream since I was a child, it was amazing, like seeing into the future or a si-fi movie. the whole country was surgically clean, electronic and meretriciously organised, each bus/train is on time down to the very moment. crime rate and unemployment is the lowest in the world. And then in a contrast, there are lots of old temples that are over a 1000 years old. anyhow, perhaps im trailing off a little.

We met there and when I returned to england she told me she had MS, AT first I didnt know what to think. images of “wheelchair/Bead bound” flashed in my mind. I was very ill educated (like most) and realy didnt know the first thing about MS, or that Many people live their lives and might not need access to a wheel chair. But it didnt matter to me ether way, Id already fallen head over heals with her, Id never met somone who was so selfless and sensitive, and at the same time, so Strong and positive.

Dont get me wrong, she does have her down days, mostly about how her stomach is now very hard or rough because of the trauma injections. But She doesnt worry about the future, she enjoys each moment and always sees the positive in everything. She is my inspiration.

I asked my parents tonight about it, and said it would be no problem to sign a document if they needed to.

I think ill check with a immigration lawyer for more details. it will be worth the money.

Polar Bear :-

Yes, I try not to get so down about it, But with my condition so bad, Im finding it really difficult at the moment.

It was supposed to be a simple procedure for mild acid reflux, now my reflux is 10 times worse. the surgeon said he might not have tied the wrap tight enough, but then did a U - Turn and blamed it on my stomach not emptying (which is caused by him severing the nerve sin the stomach. Then decided to send me back to the doctor anyhow, despite butchering my insides. my bags were packed for Japan, i just needed to heal. Now im on a cocktail of medications that have horrible side effects and are known to cause heart problems (I already have a heart rhythm problem)

The other treatments for this problem is ill have to be fed through a tube directly into my stomach, ill probably never eat or drink again by mouth. There are surgeries I can have, like connecting my small intestine to another part of the stomach, but that still isnt guaranteed to work.

I was in some very dark places and even considered taking my on life on a few occasions. I was a construction worker, active and happy. I feel ive had that taken away from me by somone who was supposed to be one of the best in Manchester. (im from manchester)

I even have dreams about being in japan and then wake up sobbing. That little mistake has cost me my future.

I actualy stopped taking my medication when I heard about the risk of heart problems, But since Ive been in agony, more than before I started taking the meds. I esentialy swapped little acid reflux for dangerous medications, worse reflux, and a stomach that doesnt digest food anymore. im so angry and upset inside. Me and my wife had dreams of opening our own english school, we planed to convert her grandfathers old house, its a beautiful place with a small garden and flowers leading to the front door, we had been saving for 3 years to do that. it breaks my heart over and over

Blossom

Ive never thought of seeing a solicitor to be honest. he did mention the risks (Bloating, unable to burp or throw up) But nothing about this kind of life altering damage. He never admitted that he had caused it. But he did say I had gastroParisis because of the surgery, It only takes a google search to find out that it happens when the wrong nerves are cut in the stomach.

Apparently people have tried to sue for this same complication and the problem is trying to prove that it was the operation caused it. and the Surgeon and the hospital will do anything not to pay up or admit fualt. i alread have a complaint against the with PALS, as they lost my referal 3 times for the surgery, and then gave me another surgeon I didnt want, when I turned iit down, they put me to the bottom of the list to wait all over again. (I wish i had that surgeon now, i might not have ended up like this)

I was recomended some meal replacment drinks, but they make my acid reflux worse and can only take a few sips per day. (I should have no reflux now because of the wrap, but its much worse)

I probibly have around 500 - 600 calories per day. I ate like an animal before the operation.

I will have to make some very tough descisions about what I want to do.

  • if to take medications that could cause serious problems in future, but help a little in present life.

  • To have a J tube which means a big change in the way I live my life, no more eating, no more drinking water.

  • Or Intestinal surgery that could cause even more problems or complications, but a small risk of success.

Is a hard one, as Im still living in the past and wishing i never had the surgery.

The tube seems the least daunting, but comes with allot of anoying things, i cant eat out anywhere, and id spend all day every day hooked up to a food bag.

Or the medication.

Im sorry, I feel like all im doing is speaking about myself and not about my wife. I would never even compare what im going though with what MS sufferers can go though each day.

spacejacket :-

Yes she is finding it very frustrating, I try not to make her stressed, But i think she is still feeling very usless and feels she cant do anything. She finds it hard understanding the NHS system, as in Japan everything is so instant and organised. She finds it difficult to understand that we have to constantly wait for tests, or results or to see a DR. In Japan you can have blood tests, all scans and see a doctor in a day and be treated straight away. Their system is similar to the NHS, 75 % of costs are paid by the government and the remaining is paid by yourself, that goes for medication, clinics, tests and all other costs.

Its a good system if it means you can see a specialist and be treated so soon. They take their healthcare very seriously.

Since the surgery didnt work, Asami made the decision to come here for 6 months (before we knew how bad this realy was). She was prepared to quit her Job to see me, But her company has told her they would leave her post open until she returns. She plans to come here in February and leave 6 months later. But since things seem to have gone form bad to worse, I am wondering if ist best she comes here, rather than me to go there. Asami still wonderers why I cant go there, But goign there when im ill isnt the right descision I think. who knows what kind to tests or treatment id need to have, and the cost implications. It would make more sense fo rher to relocate here for now and stay with me and my parents (even though its not ideal)

The hospital havent “admitted” but he says the reson im so bad, isnt because of his “surgery” but because of this stomach paralysis. (which his surgery has caused) so he just passed me back to his colleague to be treated by medication. But im already on th emedication, and it isnt working so well, and on top of that, it causes problems.

Ive found a surgeon from Newcastle, he came recommended, but my GP isnt willing to send me for a second opinion, because she says we are in a “recession” if i didnt know already.

Thank you for your kind words, Like i mentioned above, Ive been really down and finding it so hard. I dont cope well and am in introvert, I tend to bottle things inside.

It makes me happy that there are people out there who care,

Anitra :-

Thanks for all the info and advice, I realy apreciate it.

Ill see into a solicitor for the Visa, I think it would defiantly be worth it.

Yes, I understand about the CAB, i remember seeing them once at the local office in Manchester, they didnt have much time to offer, but they did their best.

Oh, a minimum income threshold for spousal visas. yes, I heard that too during my research. I hoped that my parents sponsorship would be good enough to support us, as I was working full time self employed before, but now am permanently bed ridden. My wife currently works as an executive for an export company. She will probably be looking at something similar here. Ill also have to probably think about going another route, as I probably cant go back to my previous job in construction.

The risks wernet realy explaned as such, the only risks I was told was that I wouldnt be able to throw up, or burp, and i might get some trapped wind, also swallowing food would be difficult because of the swelling.didnt expect to burp more, more food coming up than before. I was sure they made it wider, not tighter.

That’s good to hear that your dad got the compensation he deserved. Justice does still exist in this world.

Oh I wasnt aware you couldn’t mention certain things or people here, Ill keep that in mind on future posts.

Thanks again everyone! Im sorry for all the reading. I apologise again for writing so much.

Hello Charlie

If in the near future, you decide you want to consult a solicitor with regards to your botched surgery. Private message me if you wish and I will let you know which solicitor my husband used for his case of medical negligence. I’m not quite sure why I couldn’t mention the solicitors name here to be honest but hey ho.

It was three long stressful years before we reached a successful conclusion but worth it in the end.

The solicitor we used would definitely let you know if you didn’t have a case to answer. They are experts in medical negligence.

Take care xx

Hi Blossom, Thank you for your advice.

Yes, I would like to have the number if thats ok, Just for reference. Ive been seeing allot of these TV ads for claiming conpensations (acident help line, etc.) but im not sure what kind would be better.

Im not sure if this is good news, But with my health, ive decided to try a liquid only diet to get my calories i need. Ive tried making smoothies with penut butter etc, and it seems to be working better, Im not in as much pain, although, i do get full.

If I can help it, i want to avoid going under the knife again, or taking the medication for this illness, as it causes heart problems etc.

If I can get the nurtience and callories my body needs to survive, I dont mind living with some pain.

Take care