Good afternoon everyone. So my partner has been dx with ms ended up in hospital nearly 7 weeks ago paralyzed down the left hand side. He has mutiple lesions on the brain and has had an mri scan done of his whole spine that we are awaiting the results from. Had first app with neuro last week who did various tests on him and asked him lots of questions and said yes you have ms. my partner is a bit in denial so thats the reason why I am on here he is not taking this too well so not interested at the moment in finding out about anything so am really doing all the research (hoping that he will come to terms with it soon). He has an app with the YES team on Friday and then another app with neuro on Tuesday get the results from the MRI scan. He is still very numb on the left and side and is still stuggling with walking and gets very very tired he is also experiencing pain at the bottom of his back and in his left elbow. Just wondering how long it takes for the neuro to put him on some kind of medication and how soon this will happen as things dont seem to be happening very quickly. I know my partner is just thinking of the worst case senario (ending up a cripple) and that is why he is so down the now trying my best to keep him positive but its been hard. What about benefits also can anyone advise whats out there for us. We have two kids under 16 and I work FT but my partner worked offshore not on a contract so when onshore he does not get paid so no income coming in now from him. He has applied for ESA and has been awarded but seemingly he only gets this for a period of time cause its contribution based not sure what other help is out there for us. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks guys
Hi Shazgib,
I too have a partner who has been diagnosed, and from what you’ve said it sounds as though we’re only a couple months ahead of where you are.
My partner is due to get her treatment today (rebiff, it’s a Beta Inferon), which she should start within a week. She was diagnosed after getting some balck dots in her vision, and eye pain, followed by approx 9 months later, really bad numbness and tingling, weakness in her knee and struggling to get up a flight of stairs. She had a MRI, at the end of last year, and got the diagnosis 2-3 months ago.
She was hugely in shock, but accepted straight away she had it. There is no “right” way to how people react, from everything I’ve read on here and elsewhere. People react in different ways, I guess that’s just human nature! So it’s taken us a couple of months to move onto medication, although it would’ve been quicker, except for soem beauracracy from the NHS. We actually paid for 1 private consultation, as the neuro that diagnosed my other half, had zero people skills, and left her feeling scared, under-informed and helpless. The private neuro, then referred her to himself, but back on the NHS for prescribing drugs. I’m pretty sure if it hadn’t been for “red tape” within the NHS, she would be on meds now. So it hasn’t taken too long…
You hit the nail on the head for me, about arguably one of the worst things of MS, particularly if he is diagnosed with Relapse, remitting MS, where you just don’t know how it will impact your life. Keep trying to remain positive for your partner, there will be days where it’s hard for you both, but it’s about digging deep and finding the strength to get through it.
I’ve mentioned on here before, that I’ve been very surprised at how positively my partner has dealt with it. She has found strength she never knew she had! Also, it’s trying, although much easier said then done, to view the uncertainty of MS, particularly RRMS as a positive, rather than a negative - in that, it means you will have good days, and it’s trying to use the time where you feel good / normal / able to live your life as much as possible, and then tackling it together when symptoms do flare up!
I don’t know much in the way of benefits available to people, so can’t help there! But wish you and your partner all the best in getting through the next few months, and coming to terms with MS. If I can be of any help whatsoever, please do let me know, as I’ve found a lot of support, guidance and assistance on here already myself! 
Dan x
Welcome to the site. I am very sorry to hear of your partners diagnosis of ms.
When i got my diagnosis it was like being hit by a steam train. It came out of the blue and it was a massive shock.
Do not expect your partner to accept this diagnosis quickly. It took me ages to come to terms with it. Let him take one day at a time and let him come to terms with it at his own pace and rate. It is very early days for him.
There are 4 different types of ms. There are dmd drugs to help reduce relapse frequency/severity if your partner has relapsing remitting ms. You may not be told which type of ms straight away as they might not know yet.
There is also medication to help with different symptoms.
When i was diagnosed there was no way i would have come on a site like this. I did not want to know about my condition. I was not ready for too much information. Let him come here and find out more when he is ready and do not push him. He will be in shock as well as denial. Not forgetting the fact that he will be scared about finding out what an ms diagnosis means for him and his future.
To get advice about benefits the best place to go is the CAB.
You will have lots of questions as this is all new to you and your partner. Do not be scared to ask on here. There is usually someone who can help.
Try and break down your questions into separate ones so you get individual answers and help for each of them.
If your partner gets a diagnosis of relapsing remitting ms then people can chat to you about the medication options.
Take care
Teresa.x
Hi, Sometimes it just takes a good bit for the the penny to drop, when i first got told i had it i did not want to know anything about it and felt like there was nothing wrong, stupid really as i could not walk on my lrft side and my grip in my left hand was rubbish and could not see fully! I thought in a way that i would get back to full fittness more or less straight away but ended up with about 15 weeks off work and by wife going nutts because when she was at work i was trying to clean the house , wash windows etc just to keep busy, I think it is a hard one for people to get there heads around, even now i dont think i fully understand it 4 years on from being told i had it. i try to keep busy and carry on as normal but half the time thats when i find i have done to much and all i want to do is sleep when i get home from work. its all about managing it but takes alot to get used too, try and be positive about it RRMS is a strainge one but the way i look at it is at least i wake up in the morning and have a good smile. good luck to you both hope your other half gets back on his feet soon.
Thank you so much guys this site has been so helpful and so have you and hopefully my partner will come on here also eventually. Dan thanks I will keep that in mind. Hopefully at his next app next Tuesday he will get some more answers. i know its going to be a long road but I am here for him always.
Thanks guys
Sharon
Hi Sharon, when you get the dx you, your partner and everyone you know will go on new voyage of learing what life is like in MS world. Denial will be one of the things that your partner will come up against. I was dx’d 15 years ago and still go through stages of denial even though I know MS has definitely caught up with me. Every emotion will come up for you and your partner, but come on to this site because we all know what happens and what this condition can do to every piece of our life. I still haven’t got a sense of humour about MS, some people deal with it that way, but you will get though it. Linda x
Thanks for your reply Linda as I said to him its not the end of his life just a new one to learn about with ms x
its life jim but not as we know it!
star trek
love to you both
carole x
Lol thank you carole that brought a smile to my face xx