Advice greatly appreciated


I have also put this on PPMS as I’m trying to get a wide range of responses:

My world is going haywire. Don’t worry, I’m not turning into Corporal Jones or Private Fraser but today was a day of significant news. I am currently dealing with it by constant busy beeness; hence the hour of this post.

I have cancer.

It’s in the lower bowel and very amendable; at a price.

I’m now looking at an operation followed by a bag for life. I’ve seen stoma mentioned on here before but if anyone has had this procedure, I would appreciate thoughts and observations. I would also appreciate feedback from anyone. Humour and puns encouraged; am I going to kick the butt of cancer?

This morning it was the consultant who took the biopsy so once more I was on the bench open-bottomed, feeling exposed.

Whilst I’m not relishing having an eighth hole created in my poor blubbersome regions, I know this will be a step towards keeping some kind of feasible existence.

Meanwhile, watch out for the blogs as I enter the realms of medical certitude. I always think that the neurologist with their inevitable retinue merely clutch at straws using their own experience to offer us suggestions, not answers.

Steve, looking ahead to a non-constipated future. Always seeking the positive.

Dear Steve, bloody hell, I feel useless here and far away, of course, you and your health are in my prayers. I think that there is a wonderful, forum regular on here and I am sure that she will reply. I remember her writing a stoma diary - possibly use the search bar? Also… Now I am guessing you are are bloke and not a teenager, but there is a brilliant and intelligent young woman who will happily tell you all about stomas. Hannah Witton on Be careful though, my iPad auto corrects stoma and insists on writing stomps? Much love ali

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Man goes to his doctor.

The doctor says,

“The test results are back, and I’m sad to say you have cancer and Alzheimer’s.”.

The man says,

“Phew! At least it’s not cancer!”

Hi Steve

I don’t know if you’ve seen my lengthy bit of stuff about my colostomy, but here’s the link to it:

Mine was due to stupid neurological damage, so a bit different to yours (for which you have my utmost, heartfelt sympathy, as if poxy MS weren’t enough!) but my bag is for life. It might depend on where your cancer is as to how much bowel the surgeon has to remove. I hope it’ll end up being a colostomy for you and not an ileostomy. The difference is how high the surgeon needs to divert the ‘waste’ product through a stoma. With an ileostomy, what you end up with is much looser as it has less bowel to travel through (not sure why it’s looser - I’d have thought the opposite). And thus your dietary intake is more affected. Which would be a right bugger for such a world-class chef as yourself.

There are many positives to come from an extra aperture, a few things that could be less easy to deal with. But a closer relationship with one’s excrement is an education in itself. Sometimes I have to remind myself to stop eating twigs. I don’t intentionally do so, I probably sleep wheel myself to a plant and chow down something a bit woody. All I know is that sometimes there seems to be twigs in my poo!!

If you want to know anything I can help with, feel free to ask on here, or PM me. Nowadays nothing is too private to be discussed for me, details about my @rse and my excrement have been shared with all who care to read it.

I wish you the very best of luck with your rotten cancer. Life sometimes delivers a whole pile of shit for us to deal with.


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hi steve what devastating news. however you are a determined chap and manage to see the humour in the grimmest of circumstances. so get going with your recovery and i hope to see many more entertaining blogs from you. carole xx ps sue - the twigs in your poo may be related to the tomato skins in my vomit!

But I don’t eat tomato skins anymore, because they are indigestible - even more so, sweet corn is very unnerving and is off the menu Chez Sssue! Is it like the chunks of carrot that always appeared in vomit when you hadn’t eaten any?


Oh Steve,

That’s really sh*t!

Hope the treatment goes ok.Suppose you might join another forum for your new medical condition. Just please don’t leave us, we like your good advice and sense of humour.

Keep positive as always.


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Good evening everybody

long time i haven’t been on this site but i just pop in… reading your post Steve …so sorry to hear what are you going through …i so know how is when other illnesses are adding up… i been diagnosed with MS in 2013… .in 2014 with cancer… in 2015 my bladder gave up…optic neuritis lost vision in one eye…in 2016 cancer is back… in 2017 spigelian hernia both sides…in 2018 loin pain haematuria syndrome a very rare illness of the kidneys with no cure …still counting… thinking what may be next…

but the only thing i can say to you is just head up and carry one. For sure it’s hard and unfair but it’s worth living …i found a great deal of help from Macmillan (online and nurses) …speak with your CNS and they know what can you do to improve the situation and how to manage best…

Put your boxing gloves and smile

My best wishes to you x

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