What do you do when everyday is a worse day? No, nobody’s called and it is very likely that nobody will call. I had no luck with any of the immigration agencies or consulates I’ve contacted. I found an old snapshot taken in 1996 and apart from the slightly thinning hair, my facial features had not changed a day. I still look and sound like a 14 year old. I don’t and can’t even feel like a real man. In a mostly conservative place like Turkey, you ought to know not ever having a girlfriend means for a guy. I hate my life, I hate myself and everyday it just gets worse. Everyday, I feel more tired, more unwilling to do anything. I haven’t even had anything to eat yet today. It was so hot outside, I couldn’t even think about going out and sweating my a$$ off in 43-44 degrees with a humidity rate of 85%. Everything around me(starting with me) is falling apart and I can’t do anything to stop it.
Have you ever watched a movie called ‘Office Space’?
Under a lorry at Calais it is then…
Fly on the wall documentary about Staples ?
Merhaba Aydin,
My name is Mehmet and I have had relapsing MS since I was 12. I’m now 30 and take Rebif.
I read your forum and felt that I had to send this.
I’m so sorry to have read that you were feeling low. As someone with a Turkish Cypriot background I fully understand how frustrating it can be when close family members and peers simply don’t understand.
I hope and prey that your situation improves soon.
Mehmet
Thanks Mehmet,
Isn’t that kinda young, 12 years old? I guess the damn thing knows no age limit(supposed to 20-40). I know a girl here, she was diagnosed when she was 13. Her stupid parents pulled her out of school when she was diagnosed and now she’s a middle school drop out. I even considered dating her at one time(relax, she’s 21 now) but figured we’re worlds apart. I’m on gilenya, but I really don’t feel anymore active or energetic than when I was using copaxone. But having had 3 attacks in 5 years, it was apparent copaxone wasn’t working. Just watched Terminator 2 again and cried my eyes out at the end(about 500 times in the last 24 years; no kidding, and the damn thing gets me every time) Thank you for the moral support. I’ll see you around.
“With your bitch slap rappin’ and your cocaine tongue, you get nothing done…”
I recently heard someone say…Make the most of the life you’ve got, don’t morn for the life you wished you had.
Regards Equus
When you hardly have a life left, then what do you do?
r3gr3ssor, your ill not dead!!! Any length of life is worth living!!! I know things are s****y at times, good grief a lot on here are really going through it but they have all taken the time to try & make you feel better about your situation, you now sound like you are regressing back! You got to try mate, it’s not all doom & gloom & believe me,it’s going to be a miserable existence just waiting for God, just look at the response you’ve had, priceless. Give life a go, you might find you like it, better than pondering what may happen, then again, it might not! Tracey x
I can’t snap out of it, I’m sorry. I’m trying, oh, I’m trying so hard. I can’t feel like anything but a complete and utter failure. I’ve failed at everything: I couldn’t hang on to my health, I couldn’t hang on to my job, I’ve never dated or been with anyone(or was that TMI?), I don’t have a single person around me that I can talk to face to face, I’ve been accused of having delusions of grandeur(if you knew the kind of people that inhabits this 3rd world islamaniac shthole), my father hates me, my mother despises me, I’m stuck in the same house with them as I can’t move out(because I can’t afford to on the sht pay the government gives me). I even applied to the prime ministry to fix, or at least adjust my pay and all they could say was my message had no clear request listed. I am literally on the verge of completely losing my mind. I actually applied to the Belgian consulate to speak about my options of getting euthanized in Belgium because I had lost it. She spent the next two hours trying to talk me out of it. My skills in English don’t mean crap. The best I could do was get a teaching job and look how far that got me . Retired at 32 with 217 Pounds as pension. Yeah, you read that right. So again, what life, where? Being biologically functional DOES NOT count as living…
Two weeks and 170+ posts later and you are still typing out the same plea for attention that you used to start this thread.
Which part of these four pages did you not understand?
You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I am hopeless. I’m stuck in a loop. I can’t get out, get loose, get free. It seems I’ve lost it. I realize that now. I am beyond help. I guess there is a reason I picked regressor as a nickname. I can’t move on. I can’t focus. You are so right. I’m really sorry to have bothered anyone with my crap. Everyone here is going through some tough sh*t, I know, else you wouldn’t have signed up here. Just running into “them” is enough to set me right back to the beginning of things. A. I really need to leave this place and start over or B. I need to die. I get it now.
Your choices do seem to be limited, albeit mostly perhaps, by your own imagination…?
I think the salient point is that many have attempted to sincerely and compassionately provide you with the answers you appear to need. And yet here we are.
We should conclude that either you have failed to understand them, or we have failed to give you answers of any actual use.
Maybe you should start offering assistance to those others who come here seeking support or advice? This is not to say that you have used up your quota of such things for yourself. But it might provide you with the notion that you are not the only one feeling hard done by. You might even figure out your own feasible plan of action during efforts to suggest a strategy for others?
Fact is, you have a number of challenges to confront. You claim a degree of intellectual capacity, but this seems to be mired in a obsessive state of self-pity. This works to only compound the problems you perceive. And so the infinite loop of insanity, where you repeat the same old behaviours in the hope of realising a different outcome persists.
Ultimately, we all suffer that, which we are HAPPY to tolerate.
Last post was brutally honest - life can be crap. It’s not MS it’s stuff, summary of my last three years - parents died, only child, no kids and wife left me - so you are not the only one on your own.
Two options - wallow in self pity and spend your life alone or do something about it - I’m not going to say snap out of it because you clearly can’t. You need some proper medical help, not for MS but for the demons of depression you are clearly facing.
People on here are genuinely trying to help, but don’t have the expertise to help - but willingly would if they could - including me.
I don’t think these posts about your problems are helping you. This is blunt but you need it - time to man up and get some proper medical help.
Good luck
Jase
I’m terribly sorry to hear the total sh*t you had to go through. There is only one way for me to feel happy: I need someone in my life(preferably, somebody with a good job, cus I can’t pay for much with what I’m getting). No matter the cost, no matter how it ends, I want to know for myself what it feels like. Eventually, marriages turn sour. Especially, for someone like me, who’s desperately trying to recover from the clutches of severe depression that borders on suicidal tendencies, it’s got to be somebody very very special. I almost went completely out of my boundaries and almost asked a girl I saw today on the tram if she was a celebrity(there is a show my mother watches on TV and she looked a hell of a lot like one of the leads).
Like I said, psychiatric medication is not my friend. I’ve taken many different types in the last 8-9 years(ever since I served in the military), none of which had any enduring relieving effect. And I’ve seen 4 shrinks in the last 6 years and each was more headstrong than the one before. Each time, I asked them about THEIR personal lives and they were ALWAYS happily married with children. See where I’m going? I feel like Tom Hanks in BIG. The only difference, I’m not allowed to grow up: I still live in my parents’ house, still don’t have my own place. Even if I meet somebody in the near future(and trust me, I’ve met a few people who were interested in me despite my medical problems) what am I going to do? Show them my room?
There are times when I feel fine(like right now). Other times, I’m on a completely different track. It’s like my brain switches to a different gear. I don’t do it on purpose but I’m very much not in control when that gear kicks in. It happens especially when I 'm really disappointed. Like I made a mix of two songs(two different renditions of the opening theme for game of thrones) and I think it turned out to be very nice but for the past 2 weeks, I’ve sent many messages to the makers and I’m most likely being deliberately ignored and that pisses me off.
So, it was my mother’s birthday today and as a birthday present, I gave her a very nice leather bag I had custom made about 10 months ago. When she saw the gift package, she didn’t say anything at first.as I held it up to her. After a while, I told her my arm was getting tired so she took it and put it aside. When I asked her if she wasn’t going to check out what’s inside, she opened the package and, to my surprise, started crying(apparently, she wasn’t expecting to get a birthday present from me after the way she treated me like dog turd for the past year). Then she said that that she hated me was just my own delusion. So, in all essence, we’re suddenly on talking terms again o.O I wonder how long THIS truce will go on?
For whatever reason, I REALLY don’t feel depressed. For the past 2 days, I’ve been feeling fine. I don’t know what’s happened but I really don’t feel bad. Of course I’m still pissed when my right leg gets stuck on something and I trip because of it but that’s momentary loss of temperament, nothing long lasting. I figured(after listening to my mix over 1000 times in the last month) that I really enjoy opera metal and that I can’t sing worth sh*t. I can’t find a coach to help me out near me so that’s a fold.
AAAAND I think I have finally found myself a girlfriend. Thank god for multiple sclerosis(lol). So I met an art teacher at the hospital today as I was waiting to see my doctor. She told me that her younger brother was being treated for schizophrenia and I also met her older sister along the way…It is so apparent that she was really into me. She was(obviously) massively impressed that I was an English teacher. And she went on and on about how handsome and good looking I was(I tried to keep up by saying she was very pretty but more often, I was trying to cope with the massive shock) We’ve been texting like crazy for the past 3 hours. And now, as soon as she gets rid of her guests at her house, we’re gonna go out to have tea together. Years of experience of these coffee and tea dates have taught me one thing, though. I am in under no circumstance gonna try to be friends first. She is obviously into me and I will make my intention known from the get go. I’m sick and tired of mind games and 5hit tests they’ve played on me for ages. No more!
tea and crumpet