I am so sorry to hear this. you sound at the edge of despair, but whatever you do please don’t do anything like as you describe as that is no answer to your problems. if anything it would cause untold misery on your husband, and it sounds like he doesn’t deserve that.
you don’t deserve to have MS- none of us do. however there are choices:
1] go to your doctor and ask for a neuro referral for your MS. there presumably must be a reason why the hospital has refused your treatment, but i understand all UK citizens are entitled to treatment. you don’t mention why you’ve been refused treatment (unless something serious has hit the fan i didn’t know that hospitals were even allowed to refuse treatment), what type of MS you have or what treatment you’ve taken before, aside from an intolerance to injections. do you have the services of an MS nurse who can discuss treatment options with you? i will be going on gilenya as rebif was lousy for me, and i understand gilenya is one tablet per day instead of the rebif injection.
2] whilst you’re at the doctors, tell him/her of your worsening depression- it is a common side effect of MS, and you are entitled to health care provision to alleviate the condition, or at least the symptoms
3] most importantly talk to your husband. he must know something is wrong and is probably scared witless to ask you in case he upsets you or says something wrong (i am a husband as well, so i feel his pain!). without wishing to sound like a cliche, a lot of problems can be helped, and certainly a lot of affirmation made by talking.
4] phone the MS helpline- when i was first DX they were great to me.
i really hope things get better for you soon. as much as it is painful to do, you must for both your sakes try to act on this current situation as it will not get better otherwise. i speak from experience having suffered with depression for 18 years- at my lowest when all i’ve wanted to do was stay in bed, kill myself or do a reggie perrin, i have realised that only through accepting help and being proactive in seeking it.
take good care of yourself, with all my very best wishes, fluffyollie xxx