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a cry for help from my wife! <3

hi my name is rebecca and i am finding things pretty hard. my husband has ms. (ppms) and i am not dealing with it to well and it now getting to the ponts when i am taking out how i feel on him when i know its not his fault. i have a little who is 18 months old and i have alway wanted another baby but one of my husbands symptoms is he cant get an erection. he can if he takes a viara but just dont get to the point as in making a baby!! please tell me if there is anyway we can have a sex life with ms. i knpw this dont effort everyone but if it does please let me know as it driving me mad and i need someone to talk too. thanks … becca

hi becca.

i wish i was in a position to advice you as really feel for your situation. i’m sure people on here will be able to give you some support, but have you thought of calling the ms society? the number is on this site and they may be well placed to give you the information you need and to also offer you emotional support (i cried at them!)

hope you manage to get this sorted.

best wishes, vicky xxx

Two things immediately come to mind: sex is not just about intercourse and there are ways of becoming pregnant without intercourse. I think what you need to do is, together, go and have a very frank conversation with your GP. I’m sure he/she will be able to reassure you about having more children and, if necessary, refer you to an expert. If you are finding it hard to deal with your husband’s PPMS and all it might mean, and talking to your husband isn’t helping, please ask your GP about counselling. It can be incredibly helpful to be able to let everything out without any fear of being judged or hurting or scaring the person who’s listening to you. Karen x

I second the advise Karen has given you…seek that help & the best of luck to you both.

The only thing I would say is that when you feel like as you say ‘taking it out on your husband’ take a step back & think of yourself as if you were in his shoes, if you do that enough you may make a huge difference to your life together in general. If you carry on the way you are you could end up as a single Mum…sorry if that’s harsh, but it’s realistic.

Again I do wish you all the best.

Hazel

xxx

me my husband are very open bout our sex life, us goin without is a normal part of our relationship now. our little boy we have was a very lucky onces of. and we would like to have more thanks for the advise. yes i know there are other ways of having baby thats y i posted this to see if anyone was goin though the same as us. and see if they could point us in the right direction. as because we have a baby we cant have i.v.f. unless we pay for it and we just dont have that kind of money. we have an appointment at the hospital soon. but was just coming on here to see ifanyone had any ideas to help us and so i can have things to asked the doc when i see him/her .

If your husband can still ejaculate (with or without help), then you don’t need IVF.

If he can’t ejaculate, then it may not be his MS: some meds can cause it (especially antidepressants, which are often used for neuropathic pain relief). Best to ask the GP about meds and side effects and if there is a possibility that this is happening, and what can be done about it (e.g. reducing dose or changing med). It also might be worth trying ginko biloba - I’ve heard the liquid is better than tablets (you can get it from Chinese herbal shops). Any changes might take a few weeks to work so try and be patient!

Kx

I had a problem with one of my meds causing impotence. Talked to the prescribing Doctor and he changed me to another one.

Hope this helps…

thanks again. it been happening for bout 5 years only known about ms since november. so it cant be the med. we will get there in the end fingets crossed. but they think he has probily had ms for nearly 10 years. trust me i am very patient :))))

Hi An alternative to MS is something called IUI. Tends to be used for low count / slow swimmers / unexplained infertility. A friend had her child 10 years ago using this process and it was much cheaper than IVF. Hope this helps.

It might be worth getting your testosterone levels checked. It turned out mine were low so I was prescribed a gel to rub on my belly every day. I’ve been using it a few weeks now & I’ve definitely noticed an increase in my sex drive. Which is nice ; )