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27 and scared will never find someone

Hi.

im 27 year old female and was dx about 18 months ago…

i am currently in a relationship but am deeply unhappy. We have been together for 7 years.

We have had our good times don’t get me wrong but I know now he’s not the guy for me.

Of course he’s been by my side since dx but there are so many complications in r relationship,one of them being he’s a workaholic and frankly I believe money obsessed. Everything is about money with him and it’s effecting r relationship so much…

He is also 16 years older than me which never use to be a problem but I think now the age gap ois def showing and obviously now bing dx with ms I want to do as much as I can while I still can but getting him to plan anything is near impossible. He promised me a holiday since I was dx and it has still never happened.

he also wants to eventually move home to Ireland where he is from soon however I wudnt want that now as my life is so restricted. My family and friends here and just cudnt be that far away and isolated. He knows this and understands but still wants to go.Also he now doesn’t want children.

so really what is the point. I’ve tried to make things work and we’ve had breaks and always ended up back together but part of me thinks it becUse I’m scared to be alone and being with someone for so long u forget what it’s like on ur own.

but even though he’s there I’ve never felt more alone in my whole life… I really hope there is someone else out there for me but worry no one will accept me with ms.

i don’t have a problem getting fellas attention when out with friends but know once I mention ms they will prob run a mile.

I’m already having major problems with my legs and can’t walk far or do much on my feet so everything I do is so planned… Just don’t know if any guys would want this. It’s so scary being in this position and wondered how others have coped?

My question is really about meeting someone when you have this awful disease… Can it happen?will it? Or could I be alone forever?

thanks

Hi Rosex,

Just ask yourself one question. Would you rather be with some-one and unhappy or alone and happy. And if you haven’t been on your own for a while then how do you know that you won’t like it? Just because you have MS does not mean every bloke will run a mile and those that do - well then they aren’t worth bothering with.

Only you can choose what to do hun, you know what you would prefer to do and you should not let some-one else make your decision for you. Stay or go - its your life and only you can live it sweetie.

Lots of hugs for you hun. Its a hard decision and my thoughts are with you. If you need more hugs - let us know.

Take care

JBK xx

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Can’t say it better than JBK!

Suppose your worst fears are realised, and you don’t meet anyone else? Is that better or worse than being with the wrong person the rest of your life?

And what about him, what does he deserve? A partner who knows he’s not “The One”, or the freedom to meet someone who might know he is?

Tina

x

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I just want to echo what JBK and Tina say,

It sounds like you have made up your mind on what you have to do for a happy future.

We are here if you need any hugs. Here’s one for now ((((hugs))))

Shazzie xxx

Hi I think what everyone else has said is good advice but I kind of know how your feeling I’m newly dx too 8 months and this time last year I was in the beginning of a new relationship well we were dating but she is a woman and I have never dated a woman before but I fell head over heels for her and eventually told my family they were all pleased and supporting things were going good until I had my dx and I decided to tell her why wouldn’t I and then two weeks later she wanted to just be friends!! ( she says it had nothing to do with the dx I think I belive her ) So I agreed and we had a good few months of friendship but my head and heart was still wanting more. It’s easy to fall in love but so hard to fall out of it she stole my heart!! And still owns it! I thought I could be her friend until she got herself a boyfriend ( we are both bi ) and just couldn’t do it and told her how I felt and well that was the end of the friendship. And now I am left feeling scared of been alone and who would want me and my complications!! But I have a fantastic group of friends and family and they all tell me there is someone out there for me and I’ll tell you the same but you will never find them if you stay in a relationship because you are scared to be alone. And don’t isolate yourself by moving away for your circle if you don’t feel it will work with your current partner. Life is short and as we have found out we don’t know what’s around the corner so only do what makes you happy. Go look around the corners there is someone waiting for you who will love you for you Ms and all :slight_smile: x

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Hi, its all been said, we only get one shot at this life its not a rehearsal.

Have a Listen to Whitney Houston’s “The greatest love of all”.

Pauline xx