Your opinions please....

Hi Everyone - Just wondered what folk thought about a conversation at work today. Basically there’s a work convention in a few months time for staff from various parts of the country. My manager (who knows about my MS diagnosis) was telling me about it today, saying “there’s no point in you going, because of the very early start needed to catch the train and be there on time”. I replied “hummm that could be a challenge” and the manager answered “well I don’t want you getting ill”. Is that (a) the manager being considerate, (b) discrimination, (c) me being paranoid! I don’t know which way to take the comments - in lots of ways it would be nice to go to the convention, but it would be tiring… would appreciate your thoughts please.

Thanks, H x

I would err towards (a) considerate, but I guess it depends on the manager, the relationship and the tone of voice used.

Maybe suggest that you go up the night before, so you are fresh for the convention? Seems like a reasonable adjustment to me! (Check train fares before you suggest it - if the evening fare is cheaper, it will help offset the cost of a hotel room.)

Karen x

Thanks Karen - it’s prob (c) as well as (a) huh! I guess the MS stuff is still quite new - I’ve always been used to just getting on with things, but life is different now isn’t it?! Your idea of going up the night before is a brilliant one - I will mention it when I get the opportunity.

Thanks so much,

H x

I don’t really appreiciate it when someone offers to tell me how to manage my MS, whether they are doing it in a good natured way or not. I wouldnt dream of telling someone how to manage their own heath problems.

Not sure it makes a difference if it is your manager or not, the person was not disscussing, they were dictating to you and assuming what is best for you without consulting you. Would they do that with a employee who doesn’t have MS? But, I would not get into a fight with your manager about this, I would just find a way to say how you feel about them deciding what is best for you regarding your MS.

Been there, its an awkward situation brought on by thoughtlessness on part of the manager. I hope you can figure the best way for you to go and also have a good time!

I had a similar thing recently regarding the opportunity to go on a month’s exchange to China. My boss said “shame about your health as you could have applied and with your standard of work you would most likely have been successful - never mind eh!”

Like you say - conflicting & confusing reactions from me! xxxjenxxx

Thanks Anon and Kizzydane for your responses. Yes, I suppose I was being dictated to, but probably with good intentions. Part of the problem is, because it’s all so new, I don’t know how I would cope - but it would be nice to be given the choice! That might come later, I guess. Kizzydane - a month’s exchange in China sounds a lovely opportunity - will you challenge your boss over what he said and go for it? Or have you decided it would be too much for you to cope with? Would be interested in the outcome, if you don’t mind me asking…

Thanks again, Hx