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You look terrible!!!!

Why do people feel its acceptable to tell me I look terrible. I don’t tell people they are ugly! The really annoying thing is that I thought I looked ok at the time!!

Oh no! That’s so rubbish! It’s bad enough when people tell you how well you look when you feel cr#p…I suppose they’re trying to somehow sympathise but there has to be a cutting retort…brain not working but I mull on it… x

Hi Nikki,

I agree it’s rude. Was it someone you hadn’t seen for some time? Did they get a shock, and it just slipped out?

But frankly, most of us find: “But you look so WELL!” isn’t a lot more help. You almost feel as if the person is implying: “But you can’t really be telling the truth about MS; you seem fine!”

I’ve even had: “Isn’t it lucky you’re unaffected?”

Take a look at my daily intake of pills, and I don’t think anyone would argue I was “unaffected”.

I dunno, you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t. People expect you to look ill, and think it’s OK to comment on it. But if you don’t conform to expectations, and even do your hair and wear lipstick, they think that’s comment-worthy too. Just because I can still put a bit of slap on, unfortunately doesn’t mean I’m fine.

T.

x

Aww thats not what you want to hear when you don’t feel great anyway.

Unfortunately I get the same as Anitra, “you look great” well I don’t feel great. I actually feel like I just want to curl up and die lol!

Well, on the plus side, at least they noticed, lol!

As an aside, I used to have a ‘friend’ that felt free to tell me I looked like s**t, my fridge smelled, my bath was crap, I’d never manage when my son left home etc.

Notice I said ‘used to’, lol, feeling so much better now!

Mags xx

‘Thank you! And so do you.’ Never fails to bring an end to the nuisance. Alison x

Yes I love being told I look awful/dreadful/ in pain, it’s not ok to point out to overweight people they need to shead a few but fine to tell a thin person to put on weight! Humans can be so thoughtless. Dependant on who is saying it to me I just look at them bemused and say “really? I feel great but thanks” it’s usually enough to make them see how rude and inappropriate they are being. Ignore them sweets, hope your feeling better soon xx Pen

It is rude.

I had a similar experince recently with my GP. I went to see him and explained I had had several MRI scans and the Neuro suspected MS (the notes had not caught up with them yet) and he replied ‘MS - is it in your family or are you just the unlucky one?’. That was all I needed 2 days after being told the bombshell from the Neuro that they even suspected MS, especially since I was seeing the GP for stress!!

Some people just open their mouth before engaging brain.

Emma xx

Alison I love that reply I would say I’ll use it next time but I will probably forget lol. Mags that made me smile. Pen your right, she is on the ahem larger side and I wouldn’t dream telling her that. It didn’t really upset me too much it was just the fact that I thought I looked ok for once lol I hadn’t seen this woman for ages and she doesn’t know about ?ms but I would still never say anything like that. I learned my lesson when I was out with a friend who bumped into someone she hadn’t seen for ages and asked her when the baby was due. Will just say there was a very embarrassed silence lol.

Oh gosh Nikki - yes the thinking someone’s preganant when they’re not … not good. I’ve had that haappen to me three times all off patients at work (and I’m about a size 8)… no idea why!

Only three of the people from department know about my health and to be honest I’m someone who really does try to hold up a front when I’m at work and I guess though I can’t wear the heels too much nowadays I still tend to look smart and bright so it’s not really noticeable. I’m seeing patients that have issues and are unwell - last thing they want is a mopy, grumpy, unwell looking person.

It’s a difficult balance - I certainly wouldn’t want people telling me I look terrible all the time but on the other hand people acknowledging that you don’t look well on accasions might make them realise I’m not well but despite that I am working and coming in (not my direct boss or the other two people that know but other people in the department).

Not many people know about me just hubby and a couple of close friends. The best support I get is on here mostly. I do sometimes wonder though how people would react if I replied with yes I look terrible cos I have ms. I like seeing people squirm lol. Maybe I just need better make up lol

I think makeup is the only reason why I probably look half decent when I go in work too lol

Off out later so I have a paper beg ready to put over my head :smiley:

Hi Nikki Just the one, I have been told so often I have 2, in case the first blows off. At my sons party yesterday I was asked by someone wo was there wat was up. I old them I had ms They said I was a fraud The reply was you wanna swap n some selective hearing. A symptom I never knew I had. Mike

Yep you cant beat a bit o slap to make you look and feel better, I do it all the time and I’m bloke :slight_smile: F. xx

Mike how rude!!! I would never say something like that even if I did think they were a fraud. Bet you won’t be inviting them again. Fluffy that made me laugh. Xx

You always bump into rude and ignorant people, it’s how we cope with it that makes the difference. Mike x

Mike, my own mother thinks I’m a fraud. I’m getting used to those sort of comments . My husband has told me that being 2 stone heavier is not attractive. That having a conversation with me is annoying as I forget what I’m saying and I walk like I’m drunk. Then they wonder why I’m sad.