…when people ask me what I’m up to these days and I reply with “I’m currently on the sick from work”. They look me up and down and snap back at me “You don’t look very sick!”. I find myself biting my tongue not to rant a storm back at them and instead just politely ask them if the they know what MS is and if not go and read up about it. Everyone seems to be a doctor when you tell them about it…I say boooo!! to all those people!!
i agree kris
booo to them for being ignorant and lacking empathy.
booo to the politicians
booo to my misbehaving legs
a big BOOO to my annoying bladder.
but i’m smiling as i type so hurray!
MrLGQ: For the very reasons you state, I have often considered carrying leaflets. Another option is to tell them in so much detail that you bore them silly, then they won’t ask again.
Carol: How did you manage to bring the politicians into this? Have you really got election fever already? (but I agree… booo to 'em all)
i hadn’t been giving much thought to politicians.
i will be voting but i just don’t like them as a breed so booo to them.
i think we all need t-shirts printing up, listing a few choice bits of info. re, ms and perhaps a few of our personal experiences. we can then do something else while they read. what we also need, of course, is something for those people we can’t be bothered to talk about it to. i would suggest getting the back’s of the t-shirts printed with b****r off… so they can clock that as we dodder away.
If you must respond try “well you don’t look ignorant”, or use any other word you feel is appropriate.
Ben will also be voting… so politicians beware!
Can my shirt have “Sometimes I really struggle to walk short distances” printed on it? And then as I turn to leave them on the back it’ll say “Now jog on because I can’t!”
Well, your choice, of course, as they have no right to know details, but you could say: “I’m on the sick as I was diagnosed with a serious illness”, or even tell them outright it’s MS, as “on the sick” doesn’t really convey much info.
Unfortunately, it’s a common problem with all invisible illnesses.
My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and for a short time afterwards (not very long at all), he was still out and about, walking three miles, and doing 40 lengths at the pool! Well-meaning people greeted him in the street with: “It’s so great to see you’re on the mend!”
“I’m not on the mend.”
“What? How do you mean?”
“I’m NOT on the mend - there’s nothing they can do.”
I used to feel awful for both the enquirer and Dad, because they’d obviously realise they’d put their foot in it big time, but he, on the other hand, was forced to explain every time that his illness wasn’t survivable - which is hard for people to comprehend, when they see the person out and about, looking normal.
3 days before my dad died, from cancer, i caught him (aged 82) up on his garage roof, painting sealant round piping. that went round at his funeral… various people started reporting it back to me, but i was the one to ‘enjoy’ the horror of finding him up there, it really makes me smile now, though.
Oh i know, i get the same. Judgemental folks usually aint all that happy i find or they wouldn’t feel the need to judge. I sometimes give a shit but mainly i shrug it off and think, i can find purpose in my life without earning money. I soldiered on until i could soldier no more. Yeah, i can safely say i won’t be voting Tory this election. They paint me, us, as work shy skivers to give them someone to scapegoat while they go about their shameful business of penalising the most vulnerable people in society. What a boring question anyhow: what do you do for a living? Blah.
what an excellent response! i am going to use it lot i think.
i feel it is through fear and ignorance, over the last year at times i have had to use a stick or a walker, and by god do they come out in their droves, i wish i had the guts to say what whammel said because it would make me feel better, especially when hubby asks me to go visit his mum, an hour of moans from her and then when i leave the room to go visit the toilet, basically just to escape , then hear her asking hubby how is she, she ain’t looking good, no one would look good having to listen to moans for an hour and cope with the pain of MS, so that is my wind up at the moment, at least we know what you are going through
I walk with a stick and noticeably stumble, I am the recipient of small kindness when I go out, cars stop so I cross the road doors are held open for me and I always get a seat in the pub. These things happen to you as well, celebrate them not the others. David
you know David you have a point, i recently returned from holiday during a meal in a restaurant the toilets were up a set of four steps but had no bannister, thought to myself well just have to hold the wall. No one of the waiters about the same age as me came screaming across put his arm out, and appeared again when i returned, lovely gentleman