I really need some advice/support - I am having lots of problems at work, it seems that whatever I do is wrong - they had me up on a disciplinary about something I am said to have forgotten 3 years ago, now they keep finding 'problems', some of which may be due to memory lapses although I'm not sure as most of them I had no way of knowing about as I've not seen these matters for years. I am so worried and losing sleep which of course makes things worse and even more likely to go wrong. When I told them I had problems in that I am now expected to do my own typing ( I wasn't in the many previous years) and my hands didn't work well, I was told 'you will always make this excuse for anyrthing now'. I got Access to Work in and that only seems to have made things worse as work had to pay for what they reccomended which they didnt like.
Now after two weeks off when I was on steroids, I have just started Rebismart and am worried about more time off due to the possible side effects and vsits to the hospital which oversees it - it's a long way a way . When I spoke to the chap who came out to start me on the Rebismart about how all the check ups and the blood tests etc could work if someone was ,working, he said 'the people I see aren't working' which made me feel I was trying to do the impossible. Everyone else assumes I could get some sort of incapacity benefit - I realise things have changed and I will be on ESA which isn't much at all.
I'm really torn between just throwing the towel in - I don't want to work where I am anyway after all this,- I don't feel I've got the energy to fight - and the fact that I wouldn't have an income - which is really scary as I've always been able to support myself.
Husband is no real use - just tells me to 'stop playing the victim' and to stop going on about MS. I feel I've got all the disadvantages of being assessed jointly for benefits and none of the advantages of support from a partner.
Aaah! I'm very fed up of all this. Any suggestionsgratefully received!