Yes, meditation helps. However, I started to suffer from very bad stress attacks, but this was a reaction to 10 years of unkind and unfair treatment from my husband and my parents.
He hates what happened to him and to me and feels great shame, but it doesn’t stop him from losing control over what is real and what is imagined.
It took a year for me to work out that he was delusional. He gets paranoid and angry with me because he knows that I’m the one, truly safe thing in his life. I paid a price for this. It makes life difficult, so I’ve had to start Citalopram. It has changed my life for the better.
We did have a ‘trigger word’ that I could say when he was irrational ‘blue biscuit’ but, I find that kindness works better, I say ‘I think you are having an attack’.
After a very bad attack of stress and delusions, he was diagnosed with a rare form of migraine. This gives him stroke-like symptoms, slurred speech and foot drop.
I ask myself, what if things were the other way around and what if my MS was to make me angry and delusional? Would he cope? Would he leave me?
I don’t know for sure. I’d probably develop a system like that in ‘The Hunger Games’ where Peeter has false memories and asks ‘real or not real’?
I laugh at the funniest misunderstandings now - Citalopram has given me the courage to stop acting like a victim and I no longer feel so sorry for myself. I’ve come out of the shadows.
Yes, I meditate, but there are situations that meditation can’t fix everything. It’s difficult to turn irritations into positives when your MS won’t let you.
If you are stressed and your legs have gone wobbly and you have a face that’s twitching and you can’t control your hands, then it’s no sin to ask for help.