My name is Danny My partner of 5 years has extremely active MS and we have a daughter together who is 21 months old so this is her second xmas.Shes more aware about it this year and shes very excited.Has Im my girlfriends full time carer we only receive benefits.We looked into a pay day loan and we were scamed and the bank said they could sort it out in the new year.Because of this my girlfriend has missed 2 treatments at hospital, we have no presents or xmas food.Every night I have to watch and hear my girlfriend cry in pain and I feel this is making her MS worse also she feels like a terrible mother to our daughter. Any help or advice needed asap and I would be extremely grateful. My email is (removed by admin-no personal details please)
First thing I would do hun is get onto your girlfriends MS nurse regarding her pain. Nobody should be going through this pain with no help as in meds (hope this makes sense? ).
2nd thing, I would ring her GP and tell them too about her pain, bless her. They should be able to help too and quicker.
3rd thing I would ring yopur social services regarding problems about food etc and ask them to direct you to your local ‘food bank’. here you should be able to get a bagful of food to keep you going for a short time but you can always go back to them if you need more.
Ring your local citizen advice up about the pay day loan problems asap.
they will help you manage the debt and you should be able to do this sooner than Jan 14 hopefully. As far as your girldfriend feeling like a bad mum - keep on reminding her of all the good things that she does with your child. Maybe how she cwtches her when she is upset or poorly. How she knows what programmes makes your child happy. the things that ususally only a mother knows about her child. Remind her that you are still a family and how strong you all are together. just thoughts so i hope it all helps you all…
let us know how you all get on and i hope things get easier for you all soon…
as for presents - do you have any family or friends that might be able to help? maybe social services might be avle to provide with some presents, its worth asking them. Another is the salvation army. they often help in these situations… if i think of anything else i will post a reply to you.
good luck and god bless
1 more thing - you should be able to get free hospitsal transport for treatments. think you ring up the hospital and ask them to dirtect you to place that you book taxi / buss etc. also, as your her carer - she can get a bus pass with a carer on it. this means you all go free on buses then. and your little one is too young to pay anyway. hope this helps x
our church is always doing food collections and asking for toy donations so maybe you could ask your local church.
also i can see that you’re unable to sleep by the time of your post.
you need to look after yourself because you are your partner’s carer and your little girl needs you.
ask your gp for something to help.
its really rough on people who have paid into the system when they can’t get by.
sending you my love and best wishes
Oh dear Danny you sound very sad and your girlfriend must be sad too.
I am just echoing all the other good advice on here. Contact Social Services, Local Church, GP and you should really get some food advice from them. It sounds like you need to ask for help to get you all through this difficult time.
Let us know how you get on.
Good luck. Hope you get lots of help.
Danny I’m really sorry you and your partner are having such a terrible time…I hope she gets help for her pain soon. Have you contacted your Gp? You’ve been given some excellent advice…please let us know how things work out. Good luck xxx
Thanks for all of your support and advice. We have been down every road to get help but its not happening. My email is (edited) if you would want to donate to let my little girl and my partner to have a brilliant xmas I would be extremely grateful.We only have 10 quid to our name untill after xmas and we need that to have gas this xmas.Dont know who to turn too apart from you whos reading this.
You shouldn’t include your email, there must be someone to help.
Tell the gas company of your problem, and that you have a disabled adult and a young child at home, and face being without gas over Christmas.
I’m not sure of the exact law, but I don’t think they can just cut vulnerable people off - or at least, they’d be breaching their own guidelines. But they can’t stretch a point for you, unless you get in touch to tell them what the problem is.
Are you on a preypayment meter? The utility companies have, as one of their key principles:
- to extend the emergency credit if you run out overnight or at Christmas or New Year public holidays
(Courtesy of CAB website)
Like Tina says Danny you must call all your providers to tell them about your situation. Use the internet to contact them if you can’t afford the call. I had to do this many years ago and my family got a lot of help from the providers.
Have you got any family or friends who can help you at all? You could offer to do jobs for people in return for cash or food/gifts. What about neighbours?
Charity shops sometimes will help you with gifts if you go in and have a quiet word with the staff. I once took some toys that my kids had outgrown into the charity shop and they told me they had a list of people who put their name down who were desperate at christmas and had no way of paying for them. A two year old will not know the toys are not brand new. Its worth a try.
If you go to the CAB they can also usually help people in your situation or sreer you in the right direction. (citizens advice)
I can’t imagine your local church not being able to help you in some way either.
Your gp can help also and your health visitor will not stand back when there is no food for a 2 year old. Food banks are there for this exact reason.
Great advice as always from everyone here.
Are you sure you have tried all the avenues that we have all suggested?
Im sure one of these places will be able to help you.
While sympathetic with your situation- this is yet another reminder not to include personal details in your posts. Nor do we allow users to either promote their businesses nor use the forum to campaign for funds.
Please understand that there are many other vulnerable people who use this forum and are also struggling financially/spiritually and physically.
People use this forum to offer each other emotional support- and we ask members keep within those parameters please.
Feel free to call our free helpline is you need somebody to talk to : Phone: 0808 800 8000
- Kind regards
- Stewart (admin)
Salvation Army would be a good place to go. Some of them put on Christmas dinner…they do in my town for the homeless so I’m sure if you explained your circumstances they would help you out.
Food banks have already been mentioned…most towns have them. We also have local charities that help with Christmas presents that have been donated by local peolple for those that are struggling. Contact citizen advice, they will help.
All the best xxx
Can life get any worse we must be cursed lol Thanks once again for all of your support but Ive tryed everything this forum was my last resort but nothin seems to work.Man I feel like a bad daddy.Check out my youtube channel for more information. TigerJessie33 got some vids what you might like.I feel rotten and weak.
You may well be right in what you say anon but I personally don’t feel like anyone is pulling one over on me. I try my best not to judge people. One never knows whats happening in a persons life…I’m happy to give Danny some advice, the rest is up to him.
Just supposing he wasn’t telling the truth…that would be a pretty sad and desperate way to live, in my opinion.
Merry Christmas to you mate.What you send out comes back to thee what you send out comes back times 3.Why would I be lying for why would you think that.Thats so low mate.Also yoy are a judgemental person whos seems to me your got a cold tin heart.
Fair enough anon…I hear what your saying x
I can’t say the thought never crossed my mind that there is anything odd about these circumstances, or why all suggested avenues - apart from sending money - seem either to have failed or to have been disregarded. However, giving and receiving of advice is free.
Stewart’s made it absolutely clear the forums can’t be used to solicit donations, and I think that’s fairest to all concerned. We can’t know anyone’s circumstances, except what they tell us, which means it has to be taken on trust.
Considering the forums are already littered with warnings of Christmas scams and hoaxes, it would be naive to think it’s only stuff in your inbox you need to worry about, and that people can’t do similar on forums too.
I do hope it’s not anything like that, but Danny’s had loads of good advice - if his predicament is genuine, I can’t believe none of it will come up trumps.
I don’t think anyone should ever send off money in response to a story they can’t possibly verify. If you want to give somebody a helping hand at Christmas - or any time - do it through a recognized charity.
Yes I do get benefits and yeah we have had a pay day load and payed it back we just cant afford anything.We cant even afford a xmas dinner.Im bein truthful too and why would I waste my time here if I was lying lol you just enjoy xmas day and xmas dinner and think of my family havin toast for xmas and seeing your little girl opening her toys shes already got in newspaper.Shame on the ones who think Im lying. Check out my youtube channel if you wanna help me and my family TigerJessie33 and leave me a comment on one my vids.