Twenty five years ago today we got married. Fourteen years ago I worked full time, did all of the DIY, gardening, looked after my Mum who has another neuro condition. I was then admitted into hospital with ON and spasticity in my legs. My husband would take time off work to look after me when I was stuck in bed really poorly. He has done things no husband should ever have to, fed me, bathed me, cleaned me and the bedroom when I've lost bowel contro etc. In the past I told him if he wanted he could walk away.
My daughter use to find him crying in the dark in desperation at my lack of diagnosis and support. In 2005 for my husbands sanity and my daughtere well being I gave up with the NHS for three years. I now needed a wheelchair outdoor due to spastic paresis, wasn't allowed to drive and relied on my family to get me out of the house.
Now in 2011, I have permanant loss of vision, need a wheelchair, bowel, bladder problems and autonomic symptoms. I have chewing,swallowing problems and speech at times aswell. He has stood by me and said if he was in that position I would do the same for him. He then said they would have to go into a nursing home as he couldn't cope with what I go through.
I'm one of the lucky ones whose relationship hasn't broken down due to chronic ill health. I'm lucky that my husband has stood by me, been my rock. We get through things by laughing, talking or crying together. We are stronger because of the obstacles that have come our way.
Marriages and relationships can survive with chronic conditions. My husband always says I married you for who you are, not what you are. I'm so lucky that most of the time he understands what I'm going through. I just wish it could be the same for everyone else.