Twenty five years ago today we got married. Fourteen years ago I worked full time, did all of the DIY, gardening, looked after my Mum who has another neuro condition. I was then admitted into hospital with ON and spasticity in my legs. My husband would take time off work to look after me when I was stuck in bed really poorly. He has done things no husband should ever have to, fed me, bathed me, cleaned me and the bedroom when I’ve lost bowel contro etc. In the past I told him if he wanted he could walk away.
My daughter use to find him crying in the dark in desperation at my lack of diagnosis and support. In 2005 for my husbands sanity and my daughtere well being I gave up with the NHS for three years. I now needed a wheelchair outdoor due to spastic paresis, wasn’t allowed to drive and relied on my family to get me out of the house.
Now in 2011, I have permanant loss of vision, need a wheelchair, bowel, bladder problems and autonomic symptoms. I have chewing,swallowing problems and speech at times aswell. He has stood by me and said if he was in that position I would do the same for him. He then said they would have to go into a nursing home as he couldn’t cope with what I go through.
I’m one of the lucky ones whose relationship hasn’t broken down due to chronic ill health. I’m lucky that my husband has stood by me, been my rock. We get through things by laughing, talking or crying together. We are stronger because of the obstacles that have come our way.
Marriages and relationships can survive with chronic conditions. My husband always says I married you for who you are, not what you are. I’m so lucky that most of the time he understands what I’m going through. I just wish it could be the same for everyone else.
Oh Jacqui, what a lovely post. A lot of marriages aren’t as close as yours even when each partner is healthy. You are both indeed an inspiration to others.
Yes, your husband is a ‘solid rock’, but you also are a very special person to go through all you have but still having a thankful heart.
Being undiagnosed is hard - I’ve been in limboland for nearly 5 years now, so know how hard it is. But you’ve been in that place a lot longer, and have a lot more problems.
I was truly moved by your post. May your Christmas be full of that same love and peace.
Hi Jacqui and congratlations on your Silver Wedding Anniversary, i celebrated mine this year and my hubby is also my rock. I never really post here but always read others posts and find it helps me i saw yours and had to re register as felt compelled to reply, I too have unconfirmed MS for want of a better way of putting it and at the moment having lots of problems and i,m starting to believe the Neurologists have been wrong suspecting MS for the last 17 years, to be honest i hope they,re right as what i think may be going on may give me a bit of a battle to get recognised. My hubby is a brick and listens to me waffle and i don,t know what i,d do without him, so thank the lord for good husbands. I too have felt at times like giving up on the NHS and have become a bit phobic about GP,s even though i,ve never been made to feel bad and i,m always taken seriously, i read with interest others stories on here who also are unconfirmed, 17 years i,ve been like this to the point of thinking i,m going mad at times, this forum is such a support for everyone and thank god it,s here thats what i say. Once again congratulations.
