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this i cant cope with

Dont know if any of you will remember,i mentioned a while ago that my nearly 3 yr old grandaughter was showing traits of autism, the main thing was she was regressing in her speech,she could say a lot more at 15 months old than she does now,anyway we got a private speech therapist who has been great, her expertise is autism in pre school children,shes seen my grandaughter a few times now,yesterday she told my daughter that she has referd my grandaughter for tests for autism.my daughters not taken it well at all,

my daughter has depression and is now a single parent after splitting with her partner,who is no support to my daughter,she only has me and her step dad for support,i am in bed most of the time so i cant help at all,it has hit us like a ton of bricks,i thought i was prepared for it,after all i have had my concerns for over a year,i couldnt sleep last night thinking how the hell are we going to cope with this,my partner said we have to think positive and he said its not like she has cancer,and things could be worse,and its not the end of the world,if she is diagnosed with autism,and that we will love her even more,i know what hes saying,but right now i am that devastated i cant think straight.

he also said because she hasnt got the diagnosis we shouldnt worry, but i have known for a long time that she wasnt developing as she should do,i was hoping to god i was wrong,but didnt think i was, i wanted the speech therapist to tell me i was being silly,and there wasnt anything wrong, only she hasnt,shes got the ball rolling,so to speak.

and now i feel as if we are in a nightmare.that will never end.

J x

Hello Mrs J,

I just want to say its not all bad news, as the mum of 3 on the autistic spectrum, i can empathise with you… iv’e been there many years ago when my 3rd child Rosanna was diagnosed…yes it was a shock and i was sad, even though i knew she had delay…but once she was diagnosed she got so much help, its obviously in our family because Ben my 5th child now 18 was diagnosed as having aspergers at 9 years old. Aspergers is a form of autism where they are often very clever, its not been easy with him but he’s such a lovely son he has a lot of anxieties but he has amazed us all, he has just left college with 2 A*s and an A in French Computers and English. Then we have Molly ( baby no 6) my gorgeous hormonal 14 year old she has autism too, The girls have a leaning difficulty with their autism so have needed specialised schools. and Rosanna (24) has probably got more difficulties but shes living a good life and lives near by with support

Life has been challenging but so much fun and so much better than i first imagined I love them all so much and wouldn’t be without any of them… honestly if she does have autism there is so much help out there and it being picked up early will give her a real advantage.

I just want to say she is so lucky having you as a grandma, it really come across in your message how much you care.

Love Michelle x

Thanks Michelle i know you have 3 children on the spectrum,you cope so well with all the challanges you have,i take my hat off to you,i think its in our family too,my nephew also has aspergers, hes 21 now and has a good job with an airline and is married with a baby,i have been told not to feel sorry for myself,so thats what i am going to do not feel sorry for myself lol…i have to be strong for my daughter and grandaughter they are my world…i also have faith in the speech therapist that i chose, she has been really helpful already,shes even going into the nursery to watch her for a morning to assess how she interacts there,i do think she will also have learning difficulties too,just a feeling i have,i always thought my daughter had mild autism,she once wrote down ‘why am i so different to my friends’ she couldnt mix well at all and was bullied very badly in school,and shes never had a lot of friends,and has trouble expressing herself too,i sort of always knew there was something not quite right.

J x