Forum

They Walk Among Us! - a funny - not ms

 

They  Walk Among Us!

Some  guy bought a new fridge for his house.  To get  rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard  and hung a Sign on it saying: 'Free to good  home. You want it, you take it.'

For three days  the fridge sat there without anyone looking  twice. He eventually decided that people were  too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'

The  next day someone stole it!

 

*One  day I was walking down the beach with Some  friends when someone shouted.....

'Look at that  dead bird!'

Someone looked up at the sky and  said...'where?'

 

While  looking at a house, my brother asked the Estate  agent which direction was north because

He  didn't want the sun waking him up every  morning.

She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the  north?' My brother explained that the sun rises  in the east

And has for sometime. She shook her  head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all  that stuff......'

 

My  colleague and I were eating our lunch in our  cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl  talking about thesunburn she got on her  weekend drive to the beach.

She drove down in a  convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd  get sunburned because the car was  moving'.

 

My  sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which  is designed to cut through a seat belt if she  gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.

 

I  couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage  area and went to the lost luggage office and  reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and  told me not to worry because she was a trained  professional and said I was in good hands.  'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived  yet?'...

(I work with professionals like  this.)

 

While  working at a pizza parlor I observed a  man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared  to be alone and the cook asked him if he would  like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought  about it for some timethen said 'Just cut it  into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough  to eat 6 pieces.

Dumb  as a box of Rocks

TRUE  STORY:

 

A  noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an  academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to  appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to  schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a  question with which he was most at  ease.

'Would you mind telling me,  Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental  deficiency in somebody who appears completely  normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied.  'You ask a simple question which anyone should  answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates,  that puts you on the track..'

'What sort  of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you  might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around  the world and died during one of them. Which  one?''

Pelosi thought a moment, and then  said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen  to have another example would you? I must  confess I don't know much about  history.'

Traffic Camera                                                          

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..                 

These are great, but I can’t think of anymore.

Cheryl:)

all brilliant

oh my goodness i thought bucket - show me to my room

BCxx

I haven't visited the forum for awhile, I saw your jokes first, excellent. I will send them friends. Thanks, I needed a good laugh.