Forum

Swinging the lead ??

Does anyone on this site exaggerate their symptoms to their boss, colleagues, family members so they can get their own way?

Would it be wrong to do that?

I never let on how bad things are either, do you think it’s a pride thing?? Inside I’m hurting, my legs are like lead with tight bands round them, I struggle on through my own stubborness. I do rest a lot behind closed doors though as they say no-one sees what goes on behind closed doors! Sue x

I am exactly the same sue, I struggle through everything and if people notice I’m not ok I just say I’m fine

mel x

Mel Why do we do it, the amount of times people have offered help and I’ve said “it’s ok I can manage” not right are we? I wont give in to this disease I’ll fight it to the end, fighter not a quitter Sue xx

that goes for me to, there’s no need to exaggerate as it is easily seen and people realise you are in pain. why would any one want to exaggerate just to get their own way, lifes hard enough as it is without telling porkies.

janet

I tried hiding mine and playing them down and work still got rid of me saying I was a safe guarding issue.

I think the question here is what are you trying to get your own way with? if its making adjustments your boss has to do what reasonable anyway.

If thats not the case and looking back I note you do it with family too it begs the question why?

Pip

I prefer to get on with my life as much as possible. Why would anyone want to pretend to be worse then they already are? My family and friends worry about me enough without me making it any worse.

Boo

Bizarrely, I often feel guilty, as if I’m exaggerating, when the reality may be that I’m not, at all.

I think one of the problems with being ill all the time is you’re never quite sure how ill is too ill. I think, on the whole, I tend to struggle on regardless, but when it does happen that I have to say enough’s enough, I still feel guilty, as if maybe it wasn’t bad enough YET.

I think it adds to the problem that your illness doesn’t have a start or a finish. If you get flu’, you know you are definitely ill today, whereas you weren’t yesterday, so it’s nice and clearcut. But with MS, it might be an indefinable feeling that things are a bit more pants today than they are most days, but you’re not sure if that justifies making a fuss.

Tina

No one outside immediate family and friends know, especially not work.
I am with the majority here and will try and play it down as much as I can. I would never use MS as an excuse, it is too serious for that.

I also don’t say how bad I’m doing and always tell people that I am fine, even if I’m not. My problem is my walking. For a long time , especially at my work I used to tell colleagues that I was ok when they asked, even if I was struggling. Now they tend not to ask but do the thing that I need help with anyway. They know that if they ask I’ll say I’m ok even if I’m really struggling to walk! So, now they just do things like getting up to open the door for me without asking, take my bag out to the car when I’m going home etc without even asking. you are asking if it would be wrong to exaggerate your symptoms. I don’t know tbh, I guess that depends how you feel about doing that kind of thing. At my work we sometimes do jobs when various people have to go and do an audit at other branches, I would be included in this job but my walking is so poor that I really can’t do it. It’s not a job that anyone particularly enjoys so having a valid reason for not doing it is a bonus. So I guess if you exaggerate symptoms to get out of a job like this, then maybe it wouldn’t be wrong to exaggerate symptoms. Cheryl:-)

i get pretty good at hiding how much pain im in so i dont worry anyone or so i thought, but when the pain gets that bad then im told i tend to rock back n forth, i dont notice i do it, i say im fine and mum tells me im lying as she can see it, i try not to say anything till it gets that bad i cant take it, but others seem to know it before it gets to that point, im a paranoid person anyway so id be too scared to exagerate things incase people dont believe me or they think im putting it on and wont believe me the next time when it is really bad, i think it depends on the person and the situation, like if they get collared by someone they really dont want to talk to and exagerate then, i can see that as a good thing, but apart from that, i dont think ive needed to so far, like i say it depends on the person and situation, i mean ms has gotta have some perks?

I am just too superstitious to do this. There’s a voice in my head that says that if I tried to leverage my assets in this way (some assets!), fate would bite me back in a way I wouldn’t like.

Alison

The old story of crying wolf, springs to mind…

Hi, no need to exaggerate…problems are self evident. Are you having a problem with someone who refuses to acknowledge your problems, or are you simply asking the question?

I used to see a chap who sorted the trollies at the supermarket. He would always ask pleasantly How are you today? I would reply, Fine, thanks and yourself?

He once said Why do people with no mobility problems always moan and yet you are always bright and cheerful? Mmm?

luv Pollx

Hello Sten

Is it exaggerating or just illustrating what it’s like when your symptoms are at their worst? There are also some things you do that might bring on your worst condition. Remember you have just as much right to stay comfortable as any other person.

Cheers, Steve.