I had a nap earlier for an hour and woke up and cant put any weight on my right leg, so I’m relying on using sticks to get about, but my right hand is cramping up too. It’s like ive sprained my knee, or the kneecap is in the wrong place, and it feels like someone is pouring water over my shin. Great timing, it’s my mums birthday tomorrow and im taking her out shopping, and I havent ever said anything to her about my health because she has enough to worry about with her own depression and my dad’s ongoing serious heart issues.
Hi,
I’m sorry, but I think it’s time to speak up. You can’t hide it forever, wanting to avoid upsetting or distressing anyone - won’t she worry more if you are visibly disabled, but there’s no explanation forthcoming?
You can’t go out shopping on sticks, and not say anything about why. And it may be the case that you can’t go out shopping at all tomorrow.
So I think fate has made the decision for you - you’re going to have to start telling the truth about what’s happening. Maybe not mention MS specifically, since I’m not sure how far along you are with the diagnostic process, but you could tell a slightly abridged version, that you’ve been having some problems with your leg, which are being investigated.
If it was a mere acquaintance, and you didn’t particularly want them to know, I might advocate a small white lie, and tell them you pulled a muscle or something. But I don’t think you can lie to your mum, as it’s going to come out sometime, and she’ll realise she was lied to. You can’t have a serious problem like this, and continue to hide it. Although some of us get frustrated it’s “invisible” a lot of the time, it’s not really, if you’re on sticks, is it? And even if you weren’t, family do eventually notice you’re consistently tired and under-the-weather.
I know it’s not ideal for your mum to have another thing to worry about, but it’s not your fault, and not something that’s never going to show. You might hide money or relationship problems, but you can’t hide that your leg doesn’t work, can you?
Good luck!
Tina
x
Mums worry, mine tells me it’s part of the job description. You may find yours has noticed something is wrong but hasn’t wanted to mention it for fear of upsetting you. Mine notices changes in me (perhaps partly because we don’t see a lot of each other, we don’t live near each other) but she doesn’t always tell me - unless she thinks it will be useful, say if I’ve got an appointment with my neuro in the near future.
I hope you had a good time with your mum and that your leg behaved itself.
the dodgy leg cleared up after 24 hours but now left with really tight calf muscles on both legs, its taking me ages to walk anywhere. I have my MRI booked for tomorrow evening (great way to spend a friday night) so who knows, maybe something will come of it.