Hello everyone x
i hope your as well as you can be x
im so sorry to post a negitive post but im feeling so confused and trapped and just not knowing what to do.
im married as alot of you know and im a christian so theres abit of my thing there. i love my husband deeeply which is why im just sooo hurt at this time ( not for the first time either really) i have ms and am really struggling with things at the moment. i live in an upstirs flat and no room any where to store a w chair, rollator or scooter which id really like to use and give me abit of freedom.
anyway my husband is depressive and im sure its more than that but im not a therapist.
and i just dont feel i have any suport at all from him. he feels he works and thats his role as a husband . of which im really thankful for honestly but i need emotional suport.
i cant talk about my ms with him, he brushes everything under the carpet. and is very much passive agressive towards me. i get things used as subtale weapons inc sex and everything i say is twisted.
to make things worse he is a good man and kind, compassionate and there for people who need him. but he is not like this with me anymore.
im confused because im sure how im treated at home isnt right but i just dont know if its really me with the problem?
ive made too many bad disicions to just walk away from my husband and everytime i come to a point where ifeel i could… things just go back to normal. i ook his dinner i clean ( with help from an agency) and believe im a good wife to him.
i know ms can cause depression and i just dont know anything any more. i never used to get like this im a wreak , i cry at the moment over anything ( aybe emotional liability? ) but i dont thing everything is that. i feel embarrased to look disabled here at home, really bad ataxia at tghe mo and im all over the place lol. but i just want to be held and told things will be ok. i just need to know im loved and im sorry but to be made love to. im a woman and yes have wants and desires too. i love him and just dont know how to takel this.
i know most will just say leave him … but its not that easy esp as a christian x
thankyou to anyone who takes time to read. x c