Bad week… I don’t have MS but as a carer for my wife who does I bet MS kills me …

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Hi Toth

It’s a curse on both members of a couple when one gets MS (or any other degenerative disabling disease).

I do feel for you. My husband cares for me too. I’m not (usually, touch wood) in need of such a lot of personal care, washing, toileting, etc, but it is a toll on him just as much as me.

I’ve always thought that while it’s hard having MS, it’s almost worse for the partner, especially if they have to do a lot of personal care.

I know you posted a while back about respite care, did you find any? Or, do you have friends who you are able to take a couple of hours off with while someone sits with your wife (assuming she can’t be left for long)? My husband goes to the gym quite early most mornings where there’s quite a gathering of, shall I say, slightly older chaps (50s to 80s). It’s a kind of old blokes ‘club’. They even go out for a Christmas lunch - like an office party. Or he just meets a friend for a cup of coffee, or a walk. It just allows him a bit of time spent with people other than me.

I do hope the bad week gets some improvement next week.