Stressed

Hello, im a 27 (28 on Monday and dreading it at the moment!) year old carer for my 52 year old mother who has secondary progressive MS. I’ve been her carer for the past 13 years nearly and I feel terrible for saying it but I don’t think I can do it any more. Recently she has been ill with inexplicable bouts of vomiting which no one seems to be taking seriously which has seemed to make all her MS symptoms worse.

we have careers coming in twice a day, but this isn’t enough and im struggling to cope, I believe strongly that we have reached the stage where she needs more care than I can provide for her and in a better environment. Our house has been slightly modified but it is still impossible for her to get around it and the OT that came out a couple of weeks ago basically said that there wasn’t much else they could put in place for her to make it easier. I genuinely feel she would be better off in some kind of maybe care home or sheltered accommodation that was better suited for her needs and with more carers coming in because I’m struggling with my own issues (severe depression & anxiety) and I just can’t do it any more.

i don’t know what my options are really, there is so much information online but it’s all just getting confused in my head and I don’t know what else to do any more. I feel terrible for saying that I can’t do it any more but I’ve been doing this for nearly 13 years and I basically have no life of my own any more.

im sorry if this doesn’t make much sense but it’s hard to put it all down in words.

can anyone help?

lauren

Hi, I am sorry to hear of your situation and hoping I can give you a bit of advice.

I have often given this same piece of advice to other folk here who are struggling to find help with an older relative.

I was helped with my mum in law, when she was living with us, but we found it difficult to cope as my own disability worsened.

There is a person attached to GP surgeries called Community Matron. I found her so helpful and caring. She helped us sort out the right residential home for mum in law.

Why not give your GP surgery a call and ask to speak to the CM.

Don’t feel guilty or that you are letting your mum down. You are not. You have looked after her and deserve some time for yourself.

Pollx