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So sad and stressed

Hi all

I do hope today is a good day for all of you.

I don’t really know why I am posting this here, but am just hoping by seeing it in writing I can somehow get my head round it.

2 months ago my niece who lives in Australia tripped off a kerb and thought she had pulled a muscle in her groin. Being painful she went to the doc, he sent her to hospital, scans and lots of tests they told her she had bone cancer in her pelvis hip and femur. Operation to remove and replace with titanium bits done 4 weeks ago, one lot of chemo and it has split the wounds open and now leaking. More scans and it has now gone into her lungs and they have given her 3-6:weeks to live, I cannot believe this is happening.

She had no symptoms at all, until 2 months ago she was a very fit woman, eating healthy doing yoga etc living a very good life, so this is just unbelievable.

My poor sister is beside herself, and I feel so useless being 13,000 miles away from them all, life is so cruel sometimes.

Pam x

Aw, Pam - I’m so very sorry to hear this! I can’t begin to imagine what you’re feeling - you must be totally devastated. Cancer can be a beast of a disease and a totally unfair one. I expect you’re emotions are rocking between anger that this should have happened and shock that it did.

Even though you can’t be with her, I’m sure that your niece knows that you love her which is all that matters. So please try not to beat yourself up about it. If your niece is able to speak to you on, say, Skype, perhaps that would be an option,

Sending you loads of hugs, and feel free to come on here at any time you feel the need.

xxx

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Hiya Pam, this is awful news for your family. Of course you want to be with your sister and niece, and, as Flopsy1 says, Skype or WhatsApp (free calls & video calls even from the UK to Australia) is a great way of having regular chats and able to see each other.

It is dreadful news for you Skips, and SO unfair. Please don’t ever feel guilty that your MS is stopping you from travelling the long journey. Your sister and Niece fully understand.travelling

take care hon,

Chrissie xx

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Pam i am so sorry to hear this.You must be so worried,but your family know how the MS affects you and i am sure they will understand this.Its such a lot for you to get your head round and so,so unfair.Can you skype or facetime your sister at all. Sending you lots of love and hugs xx

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I was told that cancer doesn’t hurt untill your near the end. And that sometimes having a fall often finds a cancer as you go to the hospital to check that you haven’t hurt something. That’s what happened to my dad went to the hospital as he had a fall and found out he had two brain tumors and then was given am MRI and found that he had lung cancer in both lungs. This was in October and he died early January, there was no treatment. He died at home with our family.

Thinking of you Kay

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Hi Flopsy

Thanks for your reassuring words they do help and are much appreciated. I think it’s happened so quickly is why it’s difficult to accept, and yes you are right emotions all over the place, angry with cancer being one of them.

We have Skyped in the past and my niece sent me a video of her on the beach doing the splits one week before all this happened, and she wants me to think of her like that and not as she is now, so I must respect her wishes.

Take care

Pam x

Hi Chrissie

Thanks for your kind words they are much appreciated. I cannot seem to get my head around how quickly this has all come about, it gives you no time to adjust, let alone accept.

Th Skype thing is difficult as I explained to Flopsy, but I speak and message my sister every other day. They emigrated when the children were tiny 40 odd years ago, but it’s times like this that you really do feel the distance.

Take care

Pam x

Hi Jaycee

Thanks so much for your kind words it is much appreciated. My family really understand that there is no way I can get to them, makes me angry with MS and I feel angry with cancer making my niece’s life so very difficult. I will in time let this anger go, but at the moment it’s just too raw.

Take care

Pam x

Hi Kay

Thank you for your reply, I had never heard that about cancer, but that is exactly how things happened. I am sorry you too have recently been through the same with your Dad, I wish you and your family all the best.

It certainly is a very cruel illness.

Take care

Pam x

Hi again, Pam. Yes, I can imagine that the sheer speed of it all has been totally overwhelming! I totally understand that you need to respect your niece’s wishes, but it’s good that you can stay in regular touch with your sister throughout all this and, as such, you are being of huge support to them both. Sending you more hugs. xx

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Pam I’m so sorry to hear this terrible news. Please don’t feel bad about not being able to travel to your family, your support via calls, Skype, FaceTime messages or however you communicate will be invaluable.

Thinking about you and your family.

Jan x

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Hi Jan

Thanks for your kind words it is much appreciated by me and my family.

It makes you realise just how precious life is, as it can all change in a heartbeat.

Take care

Pam x

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Pam I’m so sorry to hear this. As the others have said, you can’t be there and I’m also certain your family don’t hold this against you. I know how hard it is to lose family, and also having family members far away is even worse as you can’t just pop in and see for yourself just how they’re coping or give that hug you know they want. But your sister is probably reeling at the moment and will appreciate your support later when it’s all sunk in. Skype etc are fantastic. When all my family were in South Africa and just my daughter and I in the UK we were on almost daily and the distance didn’t feel as far. I can’t offer much, but we’re all here for you. Cath xx

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Hi Cath

Thanks for your lovely words i really appreciate it. My niece has decided on no more chemo it’s just too hard, and we all respect her wishes.

I am in touch almost daily via messenger which they assure me is helping, so that helps me also.

Take care

Pam x

I’m really sorry to hear your sad news Pam. I’m sending you a hug xx Michelle and Frazer xx

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Hi Michelle

Thanks for your kind words they really do help.

Hope you and your family are ok.

Pam x