Just need to vent.
How do long term MS sufferers cope? And I use the term sufferers because it feels that way.
I try to stay positive, (for the kids, the family, but what is the point of any of it?) Every damn moment I can’t ignore the fact that I have active MS. The ants crawling all over me and the painful bits, everywhere. I feel drunk and dizzy all of the time, am forever imagining how I will deteriorate, can’t shake off bad thoughts. Live with fragility, tremors, shakiness, and it is all getting worse every day. I feel as though I am rapidly going down hill and waiting nine months for the diagnosis and still awaiting treatment is frightening too. My most recent visit to the neurologist proved that I failed almost all of the tests that I passed only nine months ago. Every time someone begins a new thread with ‘does anyone suffer from…’, I could answer yes to it all. I have lost who I am, who I was, I was useful and now I am useless.
How do we keep going? And I am so sorry because I know that others have it worse than I do. Much love Ali