Going anonymous for 2 reasons… 1. I’m relatively new to the forum and feel like I’m not really part of the team yet (absolutely me not all the wonderful welcoming people here) as I have not really been able to give others comfort or advice as I’m new to this bl**** , hateful disease and don’t feel qualified to offer anyone anything yet I’ve received such warmth and great advice from others when I have posted; and 2. Others have much worse symptoms/difficulties than I do and I feel like I am pretty darn lucky as I have pretty much full mobility and feel ashamed for being unable to cope (but get that I am new to this as its only been 5 weeks since my official diagnosis) I just want to scream and smash things up!!! Why me? Why now? What did I do wrong? I’m too young - only been married for a couple of years - he didn’t sign up for this yet he is still here and still so patient! arggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh! I pretty much can recall and recount a number of episodes over the years but had a major one 6 weeks before diagnosis. Never thought it would be MS - didnt really know what that was - thought it was a muscle wasting disease. But now i realise that its what i have had, albeit very unobtrusively, for the last 15 years. Hindsight is a great thing n’est ce pas? Very dark time after diagnosis but with some vitamin replacement, I perked up and felt great… FOR 2 WEEKS!! Wow! In those 2 weeks I actually toyed with the idea that they had the diagnisis wrong - I can’t have MS I feel great, just like I did before the episode in July. No fatigue, no lightheadedness, numbness in left leg pretty much 85 % better. Stupid stupid STUPID me … For the last 3 days, I am so lightheaded and have such head fog that I want to scream, cry and smash things up. I can’t remember the thing I told myself to remember 30 seconds ago. Speaking feels like I am moving my jaws in thick treacle, I can’t even walk (I mean hobble) in a straight line. I don’t think it’s a relapse as when I say the last 3 days, I actually mean 3 days of this week, Monday - a little bad, Tuesday - same, Wednesday - no problem at all - felt pinky and perky again. Today… NIGHTMARE!! I am swaying like a drunken sailor - nothing is spinning, it’s not vertigo my head is just full of fog and I’m so lightheaded. I’m told I look fine (people at work) I’m NOT FINE, IM NOT ME!!! Can’t they see that?? It’s not a relapse, I’m sure of that. The last time I felt like this was just before the vitamin replacement and oh yes, just about 5 days before my period was due. It’s about 5 days until my period is due. Is this a coincidence or does this all really spike up around that time of the month? I Really thought the vitamin replacement was the miracle cure. I thought inbetween episodes we went back to normal. I’m not having a episode. Me episode was the left leg numbness and the foot drop. The foot drop has gone and the numbness is 85% better. Then a few weeks after the improvement - the lightheadedness and foggyness. But not having that for the last 2 weeks and since the vitamins - I thought me episode was over but surely it is as the leg has improved - so what the hell is all of this stuff??? Is this a PMS thing with MS? Sorry for the rant.
Hi Anon, sorry but you did make me chuckle! 
Yes, PMS can make MS symptoms worse for laydees. I don’t know if it’s the hormones or the stress associated with it but it does seem to be quite common.
On top of that, you’ve not long been diagnosed so not only are you premenstrual, but you’re trying to cope with that also. If you weren’t suffering from PMT, you would probably be P’d off anyway, and rightly so, but the fact that you are amplifies it and makes it so much worse.
Just cut yourself some slack hun. I can tell by your post that you’re a fighter but even fighters need support sometimes so don’t shut your OH out (that’s really important btw). Keep up the vitamins, they may be helping, especially if you suffer from PMS. And don’t think you’re not contributing, other peeps might be feeling exactly the same way but just haven’t posted on it.
You’re going through a lot at the mo, no one expects anything of you. Just look after yourself eh?
Mags xx
OMG Mags! Thanks for your post - it made me cry :(Bah humbug PMS! - was seriously never a problem before - just these last 4 months) So understanding and so appreciated - thank you. If I kick out the hubby can you come live with me? 
Thanks again. Just hoping the head fog and lightheadedness goes once the period comes. It’s just so debilitating coupled with fatigue. But also really do appreciate that I am very very lucky as I can still move around. The posts on this forum and the support from these folks truly moves me - what an amazing thing both humans and human spirit is and how special we all are. I guess all of us on here must sometimes feel like the not quite so right lopsided bear in the factory. I’d have that bear any and every time! Thanks again xx
You do the cooking and I’ll iron the sheets with me body!
Love the lopsided bear description, you definitely have a gift for writing Anon, maybe you should start a blog?
Hope you feel better soon hun and this is for you if you haven’t already seen it:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpy75q2DDow
Mags xx
LMAO! Thank you so much for that link Mags - I’d never seen that before & I literally have cried (again)! Will surely be making the hubby watch it! Thanks again for your lovely response - feeling a little better today and much buoyed up by you. Hulk smash anger has dissipated somewhat & today has pretty much been all about eating anything that isn’t nailed down. Oh the joys of PMS & being female. Funny you mention the blog as I’ve tried to keep to one for years but never really had anything to focus on - guess this disease has given me that. Hope you’ve had a good day. I’ll always have sheets for you to iron & a meal ready Rosey xx
lf you vitamin d3 deficiency pms - [and also do it for ms] You will see that a high dose of vitd3 [which we with ms should be on anyway] is also advised for PMS - a large dose is taken in one go - l think a week before you are due [to change into the green hulk] vitamindworld uk have lots of info - and they will email all latest research results.
Vitamin B12 is also another supplement we with ms need far more of. Google ‘Could it be B12 - and epidemic of mis diagnosis.’
F.
Glad you are feeling a bit better today Rosey and remember, if it moves, you’re probably not supposd to eat it.
Having a nice restful day ‘ironing’ today, helped by Izzy the cat (he does the pillowcases, lol).
M xx
I’m glad you’re feeling better Rosey. I know what you mean when you say about colleagues saying you look fine - I’ve not got a diagnosis (and my symptoms are definitely mild compared to lots here), and while my colleagues are very supportive I got a bit annoyed a couple of weeks ago when one of them said I looked fine that day. I know she was trying to be nice, but I felt rough, so felt a bit like screaming with frustration! (I had a cold as well as the ‘normal’ complaints, so it was probably just that my temperature was adding some colour to my face for a change!)
Also, about the lop-sided bear - does this mean we’re just all some magic dust away from being Super Ted? Awesome!