Hi everyone 
this is my first time sharing my experience with other people with MS. I was diagnosed 6 years ago, when I was 26.
I’m from France and have been living in the UK for the past 10 years. For a long time, I was in complete denial and carried on partying. At the same time, I did make some changes, I stopped smoking daily, and now I’m going completely sober as alcohol just isn’t for me anymore.
Even though I didn’t take great care of myself for a while, I’m currently living a normal life on Ocrevus. I haven’t had any relapses since my diagnosis, and my brain lesions have remained stable.
These days, I’m really trying to take better care of myself, I swim, practice yoga, and prioritise my peace. I feel like I’m slowly coming out of survival mode and learning to stop trying to look strong all the time.
I sometimes worry that those years of self-sabotage may have ruined my chances of having a future without disability, which is my biggest fear.
I don’t have much support here, so I’d really appreciate kindness. Please don’t scare me or lecture me.. I already know my past habits weren’t good, and I carry a lot of regret about that..
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Hi Alice’ 
Welcome - I don’t think you’ll get any criticism on here. They’ve all been so nice since I joined a short while ago. I don’t think that your old party days will catch up with you and do you any harm now - especially as it sounds like you’ve made some wise decisions and are looking after yourself. I also gave up drinking - alcohol seems to effect me horribly since having brain lesions. I still do rarely have a smoke (sometimes on the patio with a coffee in the morning) but it’s a small pleasure and, I never was a heavy smoker anyway. I’ve been a good boy for a long time now but, I can’t live like a monk 
aside from that, I think I’m doing all the right things with diet, exercise and rest etc.
I think the thing s to just listen to your body and be aware now and, take care of yourself and try to be happy. Enjoy the small wins when they come
All the best mate x
Jon.
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Thanks Jon for your kind words and for welcoming my message. I’m really glad to hear that you find this forum to be a safe space. I’ve been reading a lot of messages here, and it’s comforting to not feel alone..
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Hi @alicep . None of us including myself are medics but my understanding is that although the years of partying won’t have done you any good those years won’t determine whether you become disabled or not. Smoking is definitely bad in terms of MS risk!
For what it’s worth looking after yourself is definitely important and as a general guide I use the saying that ‘what’s good for the heart is good for the brain’ in terms of diet, exercise and managing stress ( mindfulness, meditation and yoga all good). I make use of the website ‘Overcoming MS’ and also Food for the brain.
hope you continue to do well !
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I took the stress of being diagnosed with MS as an excuse to start smoking again, so you won’t be getting any lectures from me. (I did manage to give up again for good a few years later, just as you now have, so well done, us.) It’s a very stressful time, and I think we all just do the best we can at any one time,and that’s all that we can do.
Is it fair that you got MS? No. Did you bring it upon yourself? Also, no. It’s just life, and it’s our job to play the hand we’re dealt the skilfully as we can. We can expect no more from ourselves than that.
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