Last weekend we drove up to Berlin to celebrate my old Nottingham friend’s 50th. Some of the guys I hadn’t seen for four or five years. This should have been an event that I could really look forward to, and yet I was nervous and apprehensive - most of them hadn’t seen me with a walking stick before, and this was playing on my mind. Of course, when we arrived they were all delighted to see me and the ‘stick’ was soon forgotten with the first beer!
It was the next day that my situation really hit home. Spending the whole day in the hotel, while everyone was out in the sunshine visiting Checkpoint Charlie, and saving my strength for the evening meal together. Despite the three or four hours on the hotel bed, I still felt tired and could hardly move my stiff legs when 19.30 arrived. But once we were in the restaurant I felt great and couldn’t believe it when I looked at may watch and saw the figures 01.00!!
I don’t find myself looking forward to things anymore - in fact I dread it mostly. But when I have managed to get out of the flat and do something, I feel on a high and full of energy. But is this feeling really just an unhealthy ‘done it - it’s out of the way’.
Does anyone else share the same predicament - or is it more a social phobia that I posses!?
I wish everyone a positive day.