Sorry to dump but feeling not only vile physically and emotionally this morning but horribly isolated too so didn’t know where else to come but my virtual friends here on the board. Had a first meeting with my Head teacher yesterday to look at my return to teaching after being absent with a major relapse since January and it was truly awful. I only teach 3 half days as it is but everything was met with a no including widening doors and putting in ramps. She can’t get funding so they can’t do it. I know they are not legally allowed to do this and I’ve been in touch with my Union and I’m sure it will all work out eventually and therefore be better for disabled kids, parents and teachers that may follow me in the future but at what emotional cost to me? I’m already a weepy mess and getting anywhere in my new wheels is a mountain of planning and emotional strength and resolve. I feel so helpless, I can’t go anywhere on my own so reliant on friends and family. Now the mountain has just turned into Everest!!! Feel like jacking job in but for the moment the fact that it’s not right or fair how I’m being treated is keeping me, keeping on. The old me, the trade union rep me would have waving her flag by now and campaigning on her colleagues behalf but everyone else bar one has been strangely silent so frankly I don’t want to stay there in the long term anyway.
I thought I was getting better but today I just feel like relapse day 1 again. Oh and spent last night contorting in pain in the grips of the MS hug with a bit of vomiting as my stomach sphincter spasmed thrown in for good measure.) I’m now on sofa weeping with my fluffiest blanket and a box of tissues.
Any comforting words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Maxine x