Reflections on giving up work/ working career

Is there anyone in their 50s 60s and 70s who have retired through ill health or voluntarily given up working? I am mostly interested in advice from people who already had disability and the need for walking aids from their mid 30s onwards who could give advice from lived experience of work?

With retrospect do you wish you had given up work earlier? Or if you had had the financial freedom to do this would you have stopped working sooner to focus on physical health?

Could you describe what difficulties you already had in your 30s and how that changed over the decades?

I had to give up work in construction as surveyor/ project manager (rather than on the tools). Now 62, did my last productive work in construction 4.5 years ago though did a couple of temp jobs for a few months since.

I’m SOOO bored. Brain is fortunately still sharp but walking / standing, wee urgency and fatigue are the biggies for me. I would resist giving up work as long as possible, in hindsight.

Depends on your type of work. I’m envious of a solicitor friend who gets a package of work and provided he meets the deadline, he can work on it any time of the day or night, from home. He has issues with PTSD and sleep so plays to his strengths.

My problem is my work has always been time-specific. Taking meetings or expediting / supervising work is real-time. Even temporary work is employment for set hours. Unfortunately I never know which version of myself will wake up. Some days it can be lunchtime before I can stand long enough to walk to the toilet. Other days better. Can’t call an employer and say sorry, it’s just not happening for me today. Sounds like I’m lazy or uncommitted. They don’t “get” fatigue.

Show me a job which can be offline that I could do it any time of the day or night and I’d be there.

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I got my dx aged 38 and worked on f/t for 5 years and then p/t for a few more before giving up. I’m now over 60. It was decline of cognitive energy and general mental grip that did for me at work more than physical stuff.

It’s easy to say now but looking back I wish I had thrown in the towel sooner. I wasn’t being much use to my employer by the end and was feeling sad and useless and having a horrible time.

Life since leaving work hasn’t been easy - my MS did me more physical damage before I finally got it under control with Tysabri - but walking out the gates after finishing work was one of the happiest moments of my life and I have never regretted it.

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Hi there,

I was diagnosed when I was 31, 20 years ago. Much of the next 10 years you couldn’t tell that I had MS, and fatigue was about the only thing that caused problems which I managed by needing timeout in the first aid room for a 20 minute power nap when I was struggling. I told work immediately, and they probably forgot about it as much as I did.

In 2014 I had my first real problem with mobility, after being to the beach one summers day and finding that I couldn’t walk to get back to the car which happens to be up a cliff. By that point I hadn’t seen the MS team for a good five years, and wasn’t on any DMTs, actually getting back in touch with them to say help was virtually impossible. In the end I had to go private to see the consultant that I was previously under. He did his consultation and put me straight back on the books at the hospital, and I started taking Copaxone. Once I got into the air-conditioned car my legs were back to normal, so it was the heat that got me going. Work was still going okay, or so I thought. Looking back now I can see that I was really struggling with cognitive ability. I was a change manager delivering a multitude of changes across organisation, people, infrastructure, Systems,and there were times when I would be struggling to understand what I was supposed to be doing, or what people were talking about, or why I couldn’t manage my team of analysts. I put it all down to stress. In the end I took a sideways job change into IT project management which is what my background was, and I was back on top of my game. By 2017 I was starting to struggle with mobility a lot more, and was using two walking sticks to get around. I had a couple of bladder incidents in the office too. I was also having more problems with cognition, so multitasking was something I was no longer able to do, decision-making was something I would struggle with, and memory problems were really starting to cause an issue. I went in to give a stakeholder update once, which I had done hundreds of times, and it was only about a day later that I realised I’d given the previous week’s information again. I also had a new line manager by now, and she was an absolute ****, so I took the decision to ask for ill health retirement. Within a week I was on gardening leave.

Within six months I was needing a manual wheelchair to do more than a couple of hundred yards, and within three years I was in an electric wheelchair full-time. I had thought retirement would be great, with opportunities to travel, do hobbies, enjoy gardening and so on. The reality is that I can’t do any of it. I wish I had retired four or five years sooner, so that I could actually have done some of those things. I’m now 51, stuck in a wheelchair, and stuck at home 90% of the time. I think I’ve been outside of the house Half a dozen times this year for things other than medical appointments. I’ve lived in Cardiff for 30 years and my family are all up in North Wales, seeing them is not easy anymore. My dad is 90 next month and I don’t think I’ll be able to get up there to see him.

My advice would be to retire as soon as you are able to. You’ll have the opportunity to do more things for yourself, rather than for your employer. All of that depends of course on whether you could afford to. I was devastated to have to retire, because I loved my job and I mostly loved the people I worked with. But I wish I’d gone earlier so I could’ve loved my retirement, and loved the things I was doing.

It’s not an easy decision to make though. One thing that stayed in my mind is when the union rep said to me that if I died tomorrow the advert for my job would be in the papers before my obituary.

Good luck with everything.

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A really helpful perspective. Hard to say entirely but I think I’m around the stage of mobility struggles you were at in 2014-2017 already. Reality sinking in that the last huge relapse has left me with limb weakness I don’t seem to be able to improve despite doing everything I am supposed to. I had a look at your bio and it sounds like you have faced some really big challenges and must be incredibly resilient/strong minded. So you were about 44 when you had to stop working completely. I guess it is so individual but we have to follow our gut feeling on these things.

At that point in 2014 to 2017 I noticed that when writing to my GP after an appointment, my consultants had started writing that I was probably moving into secondary progressive ms. By 2017 the letter said at the top of it it was SPMS. It might be that you haven’t recovered from your relapse because you’re starting to head that direction? Maybe worth a conversation with your MS team. It’s a lot to get your head around.