I’m pleased it is a bit cooler. When we finally did get the heatwave on the East coast it was too much for me and wiped me out. I had thrown myself into my holiday jobs a bit too eagerly as usual and then hit the fatigue wall - as always!!
I’m recovering from a migraine today (always get one when it has been too hot), son’s car is off the road, so had to get up early to drive him to work at his journalism ‘internship’ and to cap it all the boiler has gone wrong. I had to wobble upstairs carrying a kettle full of freshly boiled water very carefully! My balance is not good at the best of times and I forget the last time I filled the kettle to the brim as I cannot lift it. So I needed both hands to hold kettle and had to use my bottom against the wall for balance - not a pretty sight lol. The landlord is coming round to re-pressurise the boiler later and hopefully that will sort it out. At least he deals with things quickly unlike the landlord at my previous house.
After breakfast I was feeling a little less wobbly and I had already arranged to meet a friend in town for a cuppa after dropping Jamie off. By the time I had walked to the coffee shop my feet were totally numb and I was walking pathetically slowly. OAPs were itching to get past me …
By the time I had finished my cup of tea and had a chat, my feet had recovered so I thought I might pop into a couple of shops on the same street which led to the car park. It took less than half an hour even at my slow pace. I bought a couple of items which were not heavy. However by the time I got to the car I could barely lift my feet off the ground and they were totally numb again. I had to watch the pavement very carefully as there are a few raised flagstones and I could have easily caught my toes on them if I wasn’t taking care.
Back in March, when I realised I needed a stick, I cried buckets and came on her for lots of support and advice before taking the sensible option and buying one and using it. Now I’ve come to accept that ‘Gloria’ is part of my life and it is unthinkable to go anywhere without her; the odd times I have tried have been a total disaster with me ending up tearful and feeling wobbly and vulnerable.
In short, previously I would never have viewed myself as ‘disabled’ but my opinion is changing. I am still able to get about but I am aware that it is becoming more restricted than it used to be. I had a relapse in March so there is still time for improvement but I didn’t think this relapse was as severe as the previous one 4 years ago and that relapse took me 6 months to recover from. I’m going to continue my daily yoga stretches and I’m keeping my name on the physio list to see what they can offer. In the meantime I’ll have days out and see how far I can push (safely).
Oddly I’m not upset or down - just reflective. It’s hard not to compare life now to how it used to be … but I am determined not to worry about the future. Live for today