I’m 37 and I have had RRMS diagnosed for 4 years now and I’m bloody bored of it (at best). I’m in a fortunate position to many - I own my own house, I have a “good job” (part time). I no longer need aids to walk although fatigue blights me and my downstairs regions don’t work at all so am constantly fearful of losing continence. I also am lucky that i have supportive friends and family.
I was in a long term (9+ years) relationship when I was diagnosed and I left said relationship as she had issues of her own (diabetes and was not looking after it/herself) and I couldn’t cope living where we did (London) any more.
I’ve been single for over 3 years now and I’m massively lonely - I’ve not had a relationship in that time (despite me trying hard on dating websites/socials etc) and it’s really getting to me. When I was a child I was told (by the media/society) that when I grow up I will have a fulfilling relationship, children and a satisfying job - I don’t have any of those things (imo).
I don’t think that I’m depressed at the moment but I do feel full of existential angst. What is the point? I don’t have any of the things my brain wants me to have nor can I see a way to gaining such things. My/our condition is only going to deteriorate so what on earth do I have to live for?
I’m not on suicide watch - I talk about this quite openly with my friends (talking about suicide does not make it more likely to happen, if anything it’s the other way round) and if I were to go quiet I told them that’s when they should be concerned! I simply don’t see the point so have been researching Dignitas today…
I’m sorry to vent however I know that you lot will get me and also may have some helpful strategies in dealing with such issues.