Hi All (I thought I had made a post about this a couple of hours ago but I can’t find it so there may be a very similar post gone up too!)
Someone I know has just had a sudden death in the family that has left him looking after his mother who requires full-time care for MS. He is in his mid 20s, doesn’t have much other family, and it must be an incredibly difficult time for him. I am looking into ways I can help, and have found a fairly large range of things I can do over the long-term, but what I really want is to be able to provide some quick wins to take a little of the pressure off while he’s grieving.
To make matters more complicated, I live on the other side of the country and actually don’t know him very well (a friend of a friend really) so can’t really help in the way my instinct says I would by simply being there.
Does anyone have any advice on help, resources, anything at all really that could help him materially or emotionally in a short time frame? I’m especially interested in things I can do on his behalf, sending a 15 page form to fill out or a load of documents to read is something I want to avoid.
Any advice would be hugely appreciated!
What a difficult position for this young person. I,m not sure what you have in mind re. long term solutions, but I’m wondering if he would benefit from a carers’ needs assessment?? Then he can find out about respite arrangements etc.
In terms of emotional support , is there an MS Support group near where he lives?? I know they are all listed on this site. Also, the MS Helpline may be worth a call - they may be able to advise you of things available to help this young man.
Obviously he may be entitled to claim Carers Allowance, depending on whether his Mum is in receipt of DLA/PIP or the like, depending on his own working situation.
If Carers Allowance had already been paid to someone else for caring for this lady, and if that is the person who has passed away, then it may be fairly simple to get the benefit transferred to the new carer.
Sorry just throwing out random ideas as they pop into my head!!
I think that in the short term, the MS helpline on here is perhaps the most ikely to have ideas. If he could tap into a local support group, then he may not feel so alone with it all, as hopefully, he will be able to meet others in similar situations.
Where I live, we have a Carers Association, which is a fantastic source of emotional and practical support - they exist in most counties I believe and again, certainly worth a phone call. They often advise re financial/legal issues but also offer social events and other practical support.
I hope some of these ideas help, I’m sure others will be along with ideas too,
Where I live the local council have a First Contact phone line, when you ring and explain your situation they send someone to assess the situation and needs. I’m sure all councils have this, perhaps you could ring his local authority explain the situation then find out the direct number and let him know what this number is. Be careful not to arrange anything for him just get a contact number.
Its nice to have someone to care but be carful of overstepping the mark specially as you are not close friends.