Pushing my wife away.

Hi all. I was diagnosed with PPMS in 2001 and my then wife and I divorced in 2009, as she couldn’t cope with “what was to come”. I lived alone for several years and coped reasonably well. In 2016 I met a wonderful, beautiful and funny lady who I fell head over heels in love with. I made sure she knew right from the start that I had MS, no secrets for a new relationship. We married in 2018 and I moved in to her house, which she loved. For a while it was good but I struggled with the stairs so we decided to move. When we bought our new house, things worked for a while .

She is very kind and caring, and would do everything for me. I had lived alone for many years, cooking, cleaning and laundry for myself but now she was doing it, so I have become complacent. I now don’t do anything around the house, basically because it tires me out. Recently her job has changed, meaning she works longer hours with more stress, then she has to come home and care for me. On top of this she is now going through the menopause and she is exhausted from it all.

A year ago, she said she couldn’t sleep in the same bed as me and moved into the spare room. We have become carer and patient, a have lost our connection. She now says that she is thinking of moving out because if she is on her own, she only has herself to worry about.

My condition has worsened, basically due to me now following the physios advice and stopped exercising. I feel awful because I’ve always been the DIY, car mechanic and breadwinner but I can’t do these things any more, so it is left to her to do.

I love her dearly, she really is my better half but she says I’m only with her to be looked after.

If we could get some financial help, she could reduce her hours. I get pip but paying bills and mortgage that and her wages are gone, nothing left for us to enjoy life.

Sorry, this has turned into a book. I just don’t want to lose her but really don’t know what to do next.

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I am sorry that you find yourself in such a sad situation. The grim realities of chronic progressive illness are brutally tough, and sometimes stronger than the best will in the world. I hope that you and she find a way through, whatever that looks like.

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I feel for you and identify with your predicament. Painfully so, as I am in reality, just a few years behind you.

Having had the earliest symptoms around 2013 and things taking hold properly in late 2016, I was only diagnosed with PPMS in early 2021 aged 58. My first marriage ended in 2009 and I met my now-wife in 2016, before things had taken hold. I was under the illusion that my condition was operable and we married in 2018. I stopped working full-time in 2020, having picked up a few temporary assignments since but now effectively retired as mobility, wee urgency & fatigue make me of marginal use to any employer. My wife works as a primary school teacher and is nearly 8 years my junior.

Financially, we would have been better off not moving in together, marrying etc. as now she pays her half from earnings and I burn through cash (+PIP & ESA) for mine. I’m fortunate that I’ve been prudent with money and quite successful careerwise. As a married couple, living together, UC is assessed on the household income although for ourselves, our finances are managed separately. We still have kids (11-22) living with us - hers and mine, so many of the costs are unavoidable. By now I’d be in a bungalow with a wet-room by preference, whereas her lifestyle has been curtailed by a partner who finds going out a bit of a trial these days and she wants a new kitchen!

We still love each other but poor lady has been dealt a terrible card getting tangled up with me! She’s wonderful, compassionate & loyal and I urge her to go and do her own things, so as not to miss out and she’s doing that more now. She’s been skiing with her kids and is planning a trip with all the kids to somewhere hot this summer (I can’t function in a British summer now let alone the med or similar). I often don’t go to bed with her because the electric-reclined sofa is often more comfortable than a flat bed. She feels undesirable no matter how much I insist she means the same to me as always but I have fewer ways of demonstrating it.

My apologies for a book-size reply, as much cathartic for me as it is informational for you, but wanted you to know that you’re not alone.
Graeme

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Hi, I’m so sorry to read both of your guy’s posts, its so sad. when something like this comes along it honestly tests the patience of a saint, its so bloody hard, on the person with MS and their other half, so I really hope you can find a way forward and stick it out together. I count my lucky stars, I was diagnosed with SPMS in 2007 aged 47yrs and since then it has slowly (thankfully) progressed, now in a wheelchair 99% of the time I do still try with a walker. anyway I’m now 64yrs, my hubby is 66yrs, we’ve been together for 46yrs, married for 43yrs, he retired early at 59 to be my carer and a fine job he does as well, but we do fall out, haven’t got the same relationship we once had in the bedroom because of this, but the bottom line is we still love each other and want to stay together, so you both say you still love your wife’s so there is still something worth fighting for, good luck.
Jean

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MS is crappy for everyone close to the actual person with MS. Sadly there are no answers as we are all so different. All you can do is keep communication open and be honest.

wishing you both all the best.
Mick

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Eee lad, what a to do!

I do understand your words…I’ve had PPMS 25 years and need lots of help. Been married to my fella for 51 years. He was my sole carer for 11 years…wouldnt hear of getting carers in. But I could see the bad effect it was taking on his RA.

I got carers and it helps immensely…couldnt manage without. Have you considered this? It could solve one of your issues.

Finance wise…what about down sizing, or renting?

Harsher words now…you love your lady very much…does she feel the same? Mmmm, difficult one.

18 months ago, I was in a bad way mentally…BUT…I turned to Jesus and I am so glad I did. He helps me in incredible ways.

He’ll help you too, if you ask Him.

God bless sweetheart.
Boudsxx

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Hi again. Did any of my comment help at all?
Boudsx