Hi all. I was diagnosed with PPMS in 2001 and my then wife and I divorced in 2009, as she couldn’t cope with “what was to come”. I lived alone for several years and coped reasonably well. In 2016 I met a wonderful, beautiful and funny lady who I fell head over heels in love with. I made sure she knew right from the start that I had MS, no secrets for a new relationship. We married in 2018 and I moved in to her house, which she loved. For a while it was good but I struggled with the stairs so we decided to move. When we bought our new house, things worked for a while .
She is very kind and caring, and would do everything for me. I had lived alone for many years, cooking, cleaning and laundry for myself but now she was doing it, so I have become complacent. I now don’t do anything around the house, basically because it tires me out. Recently her job has changed, meaning she works longer hours with more stress, then she has to come home and care for me. On top of this she is now going through the menopause and she is exhausted from it all.
A year ago, she said she couldn’t sleep in the same bed as me and moved into the spare room. We have become carer and patient, a have lost our connection. She now says that she is thinking of moving out because if she is on her own, she only has herself to worry about.
My condition has worsened, basically due to me now following the physios advice and stopped exercising. I feel awful because I’ve always been the DIY, car mechanic and breadwinner but I can’t do these things any more, so it is left to her to do.
I love her dearly, she really is my better half but she says I’m only with her to be looked after.
If we could get some financial help, she could reduce her hours. I get pip but paying bills and mortgage that and her wages are gone, nothing left for us to enjoy life.
Sorry, this has turned into a book. I just don’t want to lose her but really don’t know what to do next.