Primary progressive MS and cancer

Just how much more can I take of this rotten disease. I just don’t know who to turn too just to let it all out and someone to offer support that is solid and helps.

My ms over the last few months seems to have started again and my consultant on the phone feels I may now have Primary progressive MS. All I was told was to wait for another appointment in THREE months time to discuss. THREE months be lucky the way I feel I will last THREE weeks.

My legs and arms have been sore. My walking ability has declined and I just feel this constant spinning headache.

So I went to my GP who ran a variety of tests concerned something else is going on. And hey presto blood tests show that I may have possible cancer. Been told not to worry (but as if you can’t) and await to see the specialist. For months and months I have been complaining to the hospital about my water works and can’t believe that this has been established. I know some of the ms treatments run the risk of getting cancer but why wasn’t this looked at a long time ago. So in the next few days back at the hospital this time to see a cancer specialist in urology. I am just hoping the medication I’m on is the issue and there is no cancer but when you consider it all together clearly something is wrong.

As you can imagine I have been having sleepless nights with all sort of emotions and thoughts attached. This is the final nail in my coffin and been considering just to pack everything in and just go missing. I just want to feel free I just want my life back and be happy. Sick of ms sick of hospitals sick of drugs pumping into you.

I know I’m at my darkest hour coping with a multitude of things but I think the support given to any ms patient is very poor and when presented with further worries who do we turn too? My gp just states the facts, the hospital just states the facts and well my ms nurse is always off sick or is on part time.

Can anyone advise constructively who I can turn too? I just need someone that I can pour all this out on too who could possibly assist. Or is it how I am noticing most couldn’t be bothered?

You can appreciate I’m very anxious at the moment and just can’t see any light out of it all. Has anyone any advice?

I thought about asking the gp to contact adult mental health services given my worries but read that road is also full of drugging up people and providing zero support.

I simply don’t know what to do…

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Hello sweetheart. Oh my poor friend. We may not know each other personally, but your post rang very loud bells…that I must reach out to you.

I am praying you dont have cancer…on top of this rugged cross we bear with PPMS.

There are times when we think we cant possibly take any more…we are so weary and feel like throwing the towel in. I know…I was at that point last year. But I found my way through…

I’ve had PPMS 24 years and coped pretty well…but found myself wishing I wasnt here anymore…like you.

I’d like to send you a private message. If you dont wish to reply, then please dont worry…it’s ok. I understand. I just hope my experience might help you.

Much love Boudsxxx