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Parenting and MS

Hi everyone, I’m new to this forum (only dx last week). I’m 30 (tomorrow, eek) and have a 4 year old. I was referred to an ophthalmologist due to neuritis and then neuro when hypersensitive skin kicked in too. The eye is about 80% back to normal and now I just have the sensitivity and left sided numbness. Anyhow, I was wondering how everyone is dealing with looking after children during relapses etc? So far it’s been pretty straightforward but I’m worrying about if/when symptoms get worse and how I’ll cope with the little one (I’m a stay at home mum)? My neuro doesn’t want to start me on any drugs so I’m pretty much just figuring things out as I go. Any info would be lovely. :slight_smile: Thank you Liza

Hi Liza and welcome,

I have two boys 2 +4 and am a stay at home mum (for the moment anyway) so I can empathise with your fears.

Do you have any family or friends close by that can be around for when you are having a bad day or full blown relapse? Has your little one started school or nursery? I think it helps to let a few teachers know what’s happening, they may know of other parents going through similar problems or know of organisations close to you who may be able to help you out, if and when you should need it. I find if i’m having a crappy day putting on a film and having a cuddle keeps them just as happy as if we were out playing all day!

There is no way of knowing what the future holds so best not to worry too much about it. Just take each day as it comes and have the plans in place for when things go awry, that’s all we can do.

HTH

Laura x

ps) Happy birthday for tomorrow :slight_smile:

I have a four year old also. I’ve been diagnosed since before I had my child so knew when I had him I may need family around to help. My family are great and are always there to help. However I have very rarely used them anymore than normal whilst in relapse. By that I mean that due to me working since my lil boy was young the childcare has been split between them and nursery/pre school so whilst I have been in relapse (had three since having him) they have just picked him up as normal whilst I’ve been off work resting. They have not had him any more as I have rested whilst he has been with them so i think my situation is probably a bit different to yours. I imagine had I been a stay at home mum I would have needed some help from them. As Laura says before dont worry too much… If you’ve a supportive family I’m sure if you were unwell they would step in. The only time I have had to get him looked after is actually when I had a tummy bug. I’ve been very open with friends about my m.s from day dot and I do feel that helps as I know I have certain ones who would also help if need be. Laura gives a lot of good advice as I’ve been known to do just that with my boy…film and cuddle and that’s the best medicine too :slight_smile: xxx

I’m not a mum but just wanted to say happy birthday for tomorrow. Laura’s given some great advice (as per normal) :slight_smile:

Oh yes happy birthday for tomorrow hun xxx

Thank you :slight_smile: yes I have my parents in law who will help out if needed (although my MIL is due for a hip replacement soon so will be out of action for a while). Luckily my husband works for himself so could take time off if needed. I guess it’s that I don’t really know how bad things could get so I just don’t know what to expect. It’s really helpful knowing that there are other mums with this that are coping well. I’m finding that MS can be quite lonely as no one (who hasn’t experienced it really knows what it is). My mum bless her seems to think that I can just get tablets from the doctor and it will be fine. Thank you for making me welcome :slight_smile:

It’s good you have family who can help when needed, just make sure to ask, that in itself can be a problem (for me anyway!).

I think unless you have MS you can’t ever really understand what it’s like to live with, so whenever you feel lonley and need a chat or a rant this forum is really useful as we all understand what you are feeling. x

I’m a single parent of one child. Her father isn’t involved at all.

I’m 30 and she’s 10. It’s easier in one way because she’s older so needs less from me physically. But it’s harder because I know she worries about me and she tries to help me but I’m trying not to become reliant on her. I also work full time so I feel bad for her when I’m wrecked at the weekends because that is our quality time together and often it’s spent at home with me resting.

My parents recently moved nearby and it’s been a godsend as they will take her for an occasional weekend and it breaks up the monotony for her and gives me a break also.

My daughters are 8 and 10 now, and this year is the first time I was really knocked out by a relapse. I found a lot of other parents (their friends mums) were brilliant and would drop the kids off in the morning, or afterschool. They were all really happy to help as they would be at the school picking up anyway so it wasn’t hard for them to get an extra one, but it helped me an awful lot. Obviously this has meant them all knowing about me having MS.

As they are older they are good at getting themselves breakfasts, drinks etc., they need to be able to be as independent as they can - it is good for them in terms of growing up anyway, and helps that I’m not doing all the running around for them if I can’t. My mum lives a long way away but will always come and stay for a few days when I’m bad too.

Ask for help, and accept offers where given. When you are feeling better you may be able to find ways of repaying the favours but it wouldn’t be expected on the whole.