A former work colleague’s son contacted me - his wife (age 48) was dx’d with m.s. almost two years ago -
She will not talk about the m.s. to her husband - never refers to it - never says how it is affecting her.
He wants to support her but feels cut off by her. She is moderately affected by the m.s. and was devestated by the diagnosis.
Should he try to break through the ‘barrier’ she has raised - if so, how, or is it better for him to leave things as they are?
I’m assuming he’s told her he is and will be there for her whatever the situation.
I’d say leave it there she’ll talk when she want to, maybe she just want to get on with her life and not get bogged down with what might happen. She can deal with problems as, when and if they happen.
stay safe
Jan.
The wife is so unhappy about having m.s. that she is in a continuous state of depression and she is aware of that.
He wants to help her but there is no communication about m.s.
I wonder if she really would like to talk about it but she is so bogged down she can’t do that. If that’s the case which is the best way forward?
(I compare the way she is to myself when I suffered a bereavement some years ago - I wanted to talk about it but couldn’t because it upset me so much)
I think best thing for him to do is to reassure her and tell her when she is ready to talk about things he will br there for her if and when she wants to.Shes dealing with it the only way she can just now and being in denial feels a safe place for her to be just now.
it’s difficult because I don’t know them too well and I’m not too sure of the dynamics between them.
I don’t think she’s in denial - if anything it’s the opposite and I get a sense that she’s just giving up mentally and that’s what’s worrying the husband.