Hi, Im sorry to go anon, just feel too embarrased to put my name to this.
I was diagnosed earlier on this year with RRMS. It was a long journey getting there- although compared to some peoples journeys relitivley short. First symptoms started last year, so was dx in under 1 year - which is fairly fast for MS.
I have tried so hard to be brave about it all, but i am really not coping very well at all. I am pretending to be ok, but it’s worn me down. My husband is great, although not so great at housework, but he does work. I am snappy with everyone i love - including my children. I never have any energy to do anything - even playing with the kids im finding hard to cope with. When my husband gets home, i just want to cry and i end up going to bed at 8 as i cant face talking anymore. All my friends work full time and i have no family around me, except husband who also works full time. I feel so alone, stressed out and miserable. I am struggling to enjoy anything.
I know most of you probably have experienced the same emotions. I am scared to tell GP/nurse about what essentially must be depression as i have a history of mental health problems - including several failed suicide attempts when i was younger. I wouldn’t ever try that again as i love my kids/husband too much. However i am due to start DMD’s and if i confess to this depression they will stop me having the beta-inteferon i would like to take, so this is another thing out of my control. I am waiting to see a clinical psycotherapist and am hopeful that will help. To be honest i just feel numb and like i want to run away freom it all, as there seems to be no end in sight.
I know i am not your problem, and we all have to deal with things ourselves, just thought writing it down might help. Thanks x