Dear Loosefix. I am almost a year following my diagnosis. A self proclaimed alpha male; I moved across the planet, bought my first house and the stress of it all, provoked the relapse which lead to the MS label being applied.
All the crap you are feeling is normal / natural and so just ride it out.
You probably like a challenge and to feel in control of your own destiny etc… ambition is nothing to be fearful of… life is full of opportunities and diversity…
Well… here ya go. MS is a full grown sonofabitch because it will give you 101 questions, the answers to which are near on impossible to provide. But there lies the challenge.
Will you stop feeling the way you currently do and find an improvement in life? highly likely.
Will it be sustained? i should think so.
for how long? cannot know.
how bad will it get? no idea.
is your life over? not by a long shot.
You are starting some disease modifying drugs and this is good. (Interferon though…? Were you offered tecfidera to consider??)
You have embraced some life style modifications (aka quasi-veganism) and so did i. Whether this is a jerk of the knee or not, who cares? it is definitely a step in the right direction whether an MS’er or not! You could also take a range of vitamin supplements and start sun bathing your mushrooms! (search these forums for guidance on this and much more.)
Ultimately, your head is currently in a spin for more than just one reason. the take home message here is (and i know this is easier said than done but) DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.
Chill. Take some down time. Do NOT stress. And rationally assess yourself as you inevitably start to improve. Then through this, try not to dwell on those things you cannot do, but luxuriate upon the ability of all that which you are still able to do.
You might eventually gain a sense of this diagnosis putting you in a privileged position of appreciation of life’s little things, that most others are oblivious to.
Your long term prognosis is impossible to forecast, but there are many things which can skew the odds in your favour. You will settle upon a sense of normality and may even come close to forgetting that you have an incurable disease and perhaps before you know it, they will have a cure for you and you will end up feeling luckier than most people each and every day for the rest of your days!
All the very best of luck to you!